Learning How to Decide Better

Deciding On Something - even as trivial as a drink - can be crippling to many.

Over the years, I've learned that decision making is a skill. It's a skill that I struggle with because I don't care enough or have opinions about things enough. As a result, things like Where should we eat dinner? are hard because I simply don't care as long as I'm full and ate a nutritious meal (i.e. not just instant noodles or fast food).

There is something definitive, conclusive, confident, and clear about decision making and being opinionated that avoids wasting time. The apparent finality of a decision helps you avoid rethinking things and focus on next steps rather than alternative options.

Especially with a structured Monday to Friday 8-4 work schedule, free time can be hard to come by so squeezing every moment to maximize my time enjoying what I want to do is important. Sometimes it becomes a things I want to do versus things I am okay doing. If I'm not clear in what I want to do, or have a vague sense of to-do's, I can quickly lose track of time and only hours later realize that I have accomplished nothing.

Netflix, Youtube, Reddit and the like can quickly fill the gaps in my day and entertain me while not moving me closer to achieving my goals.

Reddit - the ultimate time suck

Decision-making can definitely push me forward.

• Deciding to work without internet

• Deciding to leave my phone far away from reach

• Deciding on a set schedule for relaxation versus work time

• Deciding on when and how long to rest

• Deciding to not socialize and instead work on projects that interest me

I think striking the right balance between project work and socializing with friends is the hardest part because I obviously want to spend time with friends. But ultimately, if I can definitively schedule a time to work and distinguish it from a scheduled time to socialize, then I can be present and attentive to both during their respective times rather than half-assing either one of them and being distracted, absent-minded or unfocused.

Decisions, regardless if they are right or wrong, are important and necessary to move forward. By forcing upon yourself a decision, you can intentionally close a door, which narrows down your choices and allows you to focus your attention on fewer variables.

Without an intentional or forced decision, there is analysis paralysis.

There is uncertainty, doubt, second-guessing and inevitable inefficiency because you are always thinking about the other options, the other possibilities, the could have been's, the what if's.

So here's a few things you can try that have worked for me.

1. Even when I don't have an opinion, I will make a decision.

I will first check to make sure that my opinion is important. I will often say that if others actually feel strongly about a choice, I would prefer to follow their suggestion. For example, if the decision is Italian food versus Japanese food and one person feels strongly about Italian food, then let's do Italian. However, if there are no strong feelings, I will force myself to make a decision.

2. Reflect on the Decision Afterwards.

After a decision is made, reflect on how things progress based on that decision. By being to open to and learning from your decisions, you are utilizing that 'decision' muscle more and growing as a decisive person. You have the ability to learn from any decision and therefore event, whether perceived as good or bad. It all comes down to our perceptions and the lessons we chose to take from them. Let's say you made a decision that you later regretted, you can reflect on what insights would have allowed you to identify it. Was it your gut? Should the take-away be to trust your gut more often?

As long as you are reflecting and learning from your decisions, you are growing and learning about yourself.

3. Decisions Aren't Final.

Although having an opinion or making a decision is more final than not deciding at all, there is nothing that says you can't change your mind or change your decision later on. You are not perfect and will sometimes make a decision that needs correcting. That is a part of life and no matter how much time you spent before deciding, there will inevitably be times where you chose wrong. And that's okay. In fact that can be liberating to acknowledge the fallacy of being a 'perfect decider'. So go ahead! Make those decisions. The key point though is that making a decision pushes you one step towards progress versus avoiding a decision and remaining stagnant and standing still.

Charles Pennant gives a good 4-point process to help.

A FOUR-POINT PROCESS

1. DO I WANT TO be, do or have this?

2. Will being, doing or having this MOVE ME IN THE DIRECTION OF MY GOAL?

3. Is being, doing or having this IN HARMONY WITH GOD’S LAWS OR THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE?

4. Will being, doing or having this VIOLATE THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS?

If the answer to the first three questions is YES, and the answer to the last question is NO, make the decision and get moving.

Try using this 4-point process for yourself and let me know in the comments below whether it helped!

Again, it's a process. It won't be perfect when you start and it certainly won't be perfect every time but the point is you will get more comfortable making decisions and faster at moving onto the next step.

Rainy Days 🌧️🌧️

I don't do well with the rain.

It is a challenge for me to be motivated to do anything when it looks so miserable and gloomy outside.

It was never a huge issue for me living in Toronto, Canada. Sure, it rained a bit and was stormy but that was not a regular occurrence. I could hide away for a couple days a year and stay indoors but at least in the winter

Can't do that anymore.

I live in Vancouver, British Columbia now.

Where it rains a ton.

Like.....a ton a ton.

People here are somehow able to continue their lives despite the rain.

Hiking in the rain.

Running in the rain.

Biking in the rain.

But I think the lesson I'm learning is that rain won't kill you.

It has taken me 5+ years to come to that learning but there are things in the world that may cause you to stumble, may cause you to falter, may detract you from your goals but you must persevere regardless.

It is in that understanding that progress is progress regardless of how significant or immense that teaches you the importance of consistency.

You might not always have sunny blue skies.

You might not have the stars align for you into some perfect scenario.

Things might not go exactly according to plan.

And that's okay.

Sometimes, rainy days are great and can produce magical moments if you're open to experiencing them or embracing them.

I think this post is more a reminder for myself to keep pushing, trying, and exploring the things that interest me even though they might be a struggle, might be challenging to coordinate or might be difficult to complete when there are obstacles or barriers in the way.

But the people who persevere and triumph over these situations and struggles are also the ones who truly don't allow excuses to exist. They make it work regardless. And sometimes that can be the creative edge, or nuance in their production that others don't have.

Seeing the positive outlook and engagement this man has in his passion despite the weather or in fact because of the weather is amazing and inspiring.

You can't get those dynamic, exciting or moody photos in the sun and it took someone to accept, embrace and even look forward to rainy days to explore that side of existence.

And maybe that would make me a better, more well-rounded person.

To embrace, accept, and be open to experiences that aren't ideal (in my personal opinion of good and bad).

Imagine hating hiking because you get sweaty, there are mosquitoes, it can be exhausting and it takes too long.

If you weren't open to embracing those things, you would never experience the majesty of the landscape, the endorphins from exercise or the appreciation for the world you live in.

So, maybe it's worth it to try.

In the case of rainy days, a waterproof jacket and maybe some waterproof pants will help me get over my fears.

So...Black Friday is coming up soon…hmu🤞😬

Bet On Yourself 😤

Growing up not far from Toronto, I had the privilege and opportunity to watch live sports several times in my childhood. The Toronto Raptors were my preferred sports team to watch and I loved the excitement, the electric atmosphere, the chanting and yelling, and basketball.

I loved watching Vince Carter, T-Mac, Junk Yard Dog, and Muggsy Bogues but looking back, I didn't understand the game that well, I didn't know the professional and personal dynamics involved and emotionality involved. I wasn't invested in the players, didn't know about the player development or the drafting process very well.

I fell off the Raptors following for about a decade, only loosely watching the Bargnani, José Calderón era but started watching again the last 3-5 years.

I love the come-up stories now. Fred VanVleet. Yuta Watanabe. Dalano Banton.

There are uncountable stories of players with insurmountable odds with a chip on their shoulder, a head-down mentality and a drive for excellence that persevered and excelled.

Bet On Yourself

There's something self-fulfilling about sports that skirts the limits towards self-delusion that manifest success. Some of these players are destined for greatness, predicted to be once-in-a-lifetime superstars. Others are unpolished gems that grind their way to stardom.

Fred VanVleet for example embodies that sentiment in my mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JawRQYuChd4

In sports, to be successful, there has to be a level of pride and self-worth that matches if not exceeds the respect given to others. There is a willingness or eagerness to embrace challenge and adversity that can be lost in other careers.

Having had the opportunity and privilege to educate others and mentor others, perhaps it's solely a subconscious semantic technicality, but mentees attribute their lack of performance or lack of understanding to a difference in experience. "You know better because you've been working longer". In professional sports, there is a youthful drive to topple the experienced, surpass and conquer the old and a degree of audacity that accounts for rookie bravado.

A "Respect All Fear None" mentality. (shout-outs to Kinjaz)

Bet On Yourself

In my mind, applying this mentality towards one's own life is necessary to grow. Waiting for others to bend over backwards for you or look out for you or step up for you is dependent on the serendipity of who you meet. I have been fortunate enough to have awesome mentors who support, guide, and push me but I know many people who don't have those same support networks. This is why well-connected people seem to succeed in their fields. A strong professional and social network fosters connections and opportunity. But for the people who don’t have that skill or developed network, there has to be a calm confidence in one’s own skills to first stand your ground and proudly display your craft or talent — and know that your craft or talent is valuable.

Fred VanVleet went undrafted. He wasn’t a big name. He wasn’t on anyone’s radar coming up relative to the superstars of the NBA. And yet he climbed and grinded. Fast forward to the 2019 Toronto Raptors Run and he was a crucial part of that championship run.

And sports does a magical thing that connects the audience with these athletes. It makes you feel connected to these underdogs, these unknowns, and you root for them the same way you root for someone just like yourself - a nobody.

Bet On Yourself.

Why wouldn't you bet on yourself? If you don't bet on yourself, why should anyone else bet on you?

There's a weight to those words - a sense of self-accountability that requires you to deliver on your words because talk is cheap and action is required. If you say you want to be an artist - Bet. Now show me what you’ve got. Believing in yourself and giving voice to that belief means that you take yourself seriously and you truly aspire to do something that you say you will do. Laughing off your dreams or aspirations, saying you are dreaming too big or too greedily only serves to sow doubt in your head, give you an excuse to not perform, and undervalues your words.

I remember when I first graduated and was looking for a job, my uncle told me to not be afraid of working hard. Whether it was a Hong Kong 996 mentality or perhaps a personal anecdote of his that he felt was worth sharing, I took it to heart and I do believe I am better for it.

Working hard is good. Being valued and compensated appropriately is a different point of contention. But I do believe that some discomfort and adversity is good for fostering growth. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable and being comfortable with being a try-hard means that you are passionate about your craft. You shouldn’t feel bad about that and if you continue to work hard for years, you might realize 10 years later that you are an expert in your field.

Rising up to the occasion can do wonders for your self-esteem, your ability to manage stress, your perspective on the world and your ability to overcome obstacles and give you the confidence to command attention, express opinions, and contribute value to whatever you do.

So…Bet On Yourself.

What do you bet on yourself for? What do you know, even though you might not be great at right now, that YOU WILL BE great at in the future? Let me know down below!

WH-1000XM3 - Your Personal Audio Bubble

I wanted to review my WH-1000XM3 Wireless Noise Cancelling Headphones. Sure, they're over 3 years old now and the WH-1000XM4s are out already but I continue to love them and wanted to rave about them - especially in noisy or distracting situations so that you can clearly focus on your work.

What I Want.

Again, these are my preferences and wants for headphones so to each their own.

I always wanted something that keeps me productive.

Reduce distractions.

Keeps me listening to a focused playlist.

Keeps me isolated from the outside world.

I was willing to spend more money for good audio as compared with the previously included earbuds with phone purchases. I’m not at the level of truly appreciating the highs, mid tones and bass, the overall fullness of sound and all the other audiophile lingo but maybe one day I’ll get there.

Sony has hit all the needs for me.

Commuter Life - Air, Train, & Bus.

The active noise cancelling is absolutely amazing.

SoundGuys did a review here of the system with noise attenuation.

The pink line shows the relative impact of passive noise cancellation (A.K.A. the act of blocking noise through the use of a physical barrier ) and the blue line shows the noise reduction by active noise cancellation.

The blue line between 100-1000 Hz is KEY and means that low rumbling engine sounds, motors, and the main frequencies of voices are dampened - exactly what you want with noise cancelling headphones.

This makes the Sony WH-1000MX3s truly enjoyable to use on the train, on any flights, and on the bus commute to work.

Battery Life.

Battery life is one of the most impressive things about this pair of headphones. Now, I'm a simple man. I'm not looking for 3 days worth of battery life, but the 20-hour battery life and fast charging with USB-C that provides 1.5 hours of listening after a 5 minute charge is insane.

Then you can simply charge your headphones when you get home.

Oh, and if you run out of battery and still want the passive noise isolation, just plug in the included 3.5 mm jack to your computer (if you still have a headphone jack) and continue on!

Sound.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I know what I'm talking about for sound. I wouldn't classify myself as an audiophile but that I can appreciate a premium experience based on the fact I'm willing to shell out $300-400 for headphones over your simple $50 ones.

Sony has a developed phone application that lets you modify and tailor your audio experience. Other reviewers acknowledge that the default profile is more consumer-centric but using the apps can help you correct or adjust the soundscape.

Microphone.

It works. It isn't the be-all-end-all, the quality is good enough but obviously doesn't do super well with outside noise rejection. It also doesn't prevent the low frequencies from being boosted given the closer mic position (aka the proximity effect). But, not really my priority when using these headphones.

Overall.

I'm extremely happy with my headphones. They don't solve every issue and the XM3's can only be connected to one device at a time (which the XM4's have improved on).

My partner will often look to borrow them in particularly loud coffee shops or on the plane or in other crowded spaces (so I'm looking to get her her own pair) so they definitely work!

Yes, they aren't the dream audiophile hardware, yes, they aren't the best for calling or audio quality but they successfully keep me in my own little bubble and work for hours on end to keep me in that bubble.

The combination of noise cancelling, the pomodoro technique, a daily schedule or to-do list and coffee is a powerful routine for focused and efficient work — at least for me.

ENTJ & Type I

What are My Types?

I am a Type 1 - Reformer and ENTJ - Commander.

If these labels mean nothing to do, I am referring to my classifications in the Myer-Briggs and Enneagrams of Personality tests.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm superstitious or into pseudo-sciences but over the years, I've done a few quizzes for curiosity and fun.

Many years back, I did the Myer-Briggs personality test and more recently, I completed the Enneagrams of Personality quiz.

I'll preface it by saying I completed some free internet versions floating around on the internet versus the official paid tests, so take my test results with a grain of salt but nevertheless, I think it's an interesting thing akin to horoscopes, astrology and the like, especially at it pertains to my weaknesses, and areas for improvement.

For my strengths, I know my strengths and am comfortable using my strengths to push me forward. I've done it my whole life. However, I am less insightful regarding my weaknesses, my red flags and what to do about my weaknesses. I believe this is the true strength of these personality tests and labels.

ENTJ – “The Commander”

Commanders are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal. However, Commanders are also characterized by an often ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves. Perhaps it is best that they make up only three percent of the population, lest they overwhelm the more timid and sensitive personality types that make up much of the rest of the world – but we have Commanders to thank for many of the businesses and institutions we take for granted every day. — 16 Personalities

I know I am confident, organized, ambitious and knowledgeable. I wouldn't say I particularly embody a charisma or projected authority on others but I oftentimes catch myself thinking I can do better than others in the role — so why not do it for the sake of the project or organizing doing better.

I feel comfortable speaking my mind and I pride myself on my efficiency. I'm also strict when it comes to being productive and rigid with my expectations for myself.

Personally, I self-identify as the objective type when someone is speaking to me about a problem. I consider both sides of a situation and hold a rigid sense of right and wrong. I'm constantly looking to grow and progress forward, hone skills, gain more knowledge, and achieve more things.

As an ENTJ, my weaknesses include my impatience, arrogance and intolerance of other options. Now, I don't particularly think I exude those feelings openly but I am aware of how they manifest.

I tend to rely on myself and avoid asking for assistance from others primarily because I feel most in control and at times that my output will be better that what others can do.

So, if I do rely on you to support me, it is because I trust your work and your efficiency.

I also recognize my ineptitude in dealing with emotions. I often distance myself from my own emotional expression and definitely distance myself from others' feelings, especially in emotionally charged situations because I often simply don't know how to handle them. This can be perceived as cold or ruthless rationalism which can dismiss others' sensitivities as irrational, irrelevant or distracting.

Pretty brutal, huh? I often wonder if this perspective also shaped my preference for stoicism and even my tastes in brutalism, minimalism and high contrast street photography.

Type I - The Reformer

Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic. — The Enneagram Institute

So I'm a Type I. Again, this rigid sense of right and wrong is apparent. Over the years and as I have matured, I acknowledge that grey has seeped into my understanding and hearing other people's life stories and perspectives has mellowed my rigidity out a little.

Although I still seek out clear distinctions by default.

One point that truly resonates with me is my hate for mistakes. I hate mistakes, often recalling mistakes from years past in an attempt to glean as many jewels of knowledge to avoid them in the future. I play the scenarios over and over in my head years later when no one else even remembers the incident anymore - never the good memories but all the memories of when I screwed up or when I was weak or did not live up to my expectations of myself. I have high standards that I impose on myself and my closest loved ones.

Most people however, would describe me as chill or relaxed because I have long understood that my standards have no bearing on others and I cannot impose my standards on them.

But...the only people I can impose my standards on are the people closest to me who value and want to live up to my expectations. So...I 100% have to be careful how I communicate these expectations or standards on my most precious people, especially my partner 😅.

The moral heroism and perfectionist commentary also resonates with me. I've tried so hard to be good, to be better than others, to improve myself, to reach an abstract sense of higher potential. I always have to take the higher road even if I recognize it may not make me happier because it's the "proper" thing to do.

So Why These Labels Are Helpful?

I believe these personality labels are helpful for recognizing my flaws and having plans in place to improve myself. Whether my life sounds pitiful to you or braggadocios of me to talk so highly of myself, it is my authentic self.

The key focus for me is that I have a resource or blueprint for areas for improvement. Why wouldn't I want to look into these resources to take what I deem helpful or beneficial? If it does resonate with me that I am constantly aiming to be a perfectionist, the recommendation for learning to relax is an easy reminder for me to be aware of my to-do lists, build in regular relaxing activities and monitor for my impatience or intolerance, because perhaps I am feeling high strung in that moment.

I also need to not expect others to change immediately. What may be obvious to me may not be obvious to them, especially if they are not used to being as self-disciplined or objective about themselves as I am about myself. Knowing that each person's timelines may not mimic my own and that they are in control of their own lives can also detach myself from their actions so I don't get so worked up about their wrongdoings.

Finally, it is important for me to get in touch with my own feelings and unconscious impulses. I can often get frustrated with others who refuse to do the "right" thing as I have defined "right" and recognizing that my black and white distinctions of right and wrong do not necessarily resonate with others. In response to this identified area for improvement, I created an emotional journal to build regular journaling time into my day to reflect on how I felt, proper vocabulary to describe my feelings and even strategies to process my emotions because of my difficulties examining my emotional wellbeing.

Understanding the potential vulnerabilities along the way in my relationships helps me better foster strong open communication and relationship with others and by recognizing the potential truth in these statements, I can better prepare myself and self-monitor.

The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world. —Toni Collette

So do you know who you are?

What are your flaws and vulnerabilities?

And what will you do about it?

I'm not arguing for the need to do these personality quizzes or that they have all the answers about your life, but I think that they are a good starting point if you have no clue how to proceed and may provide some insights or help you identify areas for improvement or even consideration.

It can definitely be hard to read about potential flaws in your character and for some, be a hard pill to swallow to hear that you do have flaws but definitely for my perfectionist self, who is constantly self-critical, it was a little refreshing to have weaknesses listed out with ways to improve so that I could target those faults systematically.

Let me know what Enneagram Type you are or what Myer-Briggs Personality you are.

Did it resonate with you and what are you doing right now to address your own weaknesses?

You Need a Schedule.

“Work on Purpose, Play on Purpose, Rest on Purpose. Do not let yourself or anyone else waste your time.” — Izey Victoria Odiase

Give every minute a job.

The concept is something I apply and parallels a concept from a fantastic personal financial budgeting software called You Need a Budget (YNAB). Based on 4 financial principles outlined here, the software instills good financial habits to save your money.

• Give Every Dollar a Job 💵

• Embrace Your True Expenses 🤝

• Roll With The Punches 👊

• Age Your Money ⏳

I won't inundate you with the details given this blog post isn't about personal finance or budgeting, but check it out if you're interested or let me know if you would want a post on personal finance.

Nevertheless, organizing your day is equally as important to financial budgeting because it is important to assign your time a job. Without assigning your time a job, you can quickly lose track of time, waste time, or become preoccupied in other tasks, similar to your financial spending when you don’t follow or keep track of your budget. Without budgeting, it can be easy to overspend, buy impulsively, or spend your money on areas of your life that you don't actually want to invest in.

This is exactly why scheduling and even the use of the pomodoro technique is an effective tool for keeping you accountable, builds intentionality in regular breaks, and incorporates rewards into your continued use of the technique.

For me, here’s what an organized workday will look like for me.

Keeping myself scheduled allows me to truly prioritize the things I want to do. Please note, I am not unnecessarily busy and not incorrectly equating busy as productive with this exercise. The goal instead is to ensure I am constantly evaluating my day’s worth of activities and whether I truly am prioritizing the things tha I wish to do in the day.

Here, I’ve adapted YNAB principles for effective time scheduling:

1. Give Every Dollar Minute a Job

• Assign every minute a job so you are intentional with your time.

• Plan the night before what you’ll decide to do tomorrow — whatever is most important to you. Then, instead of deciding to do something based on your mood in the moment, you’ll decide based on a rock-solid plan the night before about what you really need to get done.

2. Embrace Your True Expenses Schedule

• Make your schedule boring. Imagine never (ever) rushing to meet a last minute deadline. Take those large projects or regular responsibilities and divvy them up in manageable repeatign chunks. These chunks can be daily, weekly, or monthly but be aware of them and build time into your schedule to complete them. Then, say good-bye to last minute procrastination cramming.

3. Roll With The Punches

• It is 100% okay for your schedule to change or your schedule priorities to change. Be flexible and address changes as they happens. When you overcommit in one scheduled event, just adjust. No guilt necessary. Free up time from another event or activity and move along.

4. Age Your Money Time

When you are scheduling activities and events into the next week or next month, you will have nothing to stress about time-wise. The goal is to be booking irregular or new activities far in advance, because you have previously booked engagements and your top priorities to urgently do now. It might not happen overnight, but stick with it! Imagine actually accomplishing what you want to do and doing so again and again and again in a timely manner based on your interest or value in the activity. Be purpose in your time allocation.

You will absolutely be amazed by what falls to the wayside when your priorities are clearly defined and you demonstrate intentional allocation of time. Video games, random youtube videos, mindless scrolling on your phone and unintentional lounging become a thing of the past.

Let me know what is your favourite or most useful tips for staying intentional.

How do you keep yourself acounted for? Reclaim your time for what you want to do! And let me know what you decided in the comments below!

1:02 AM

It's 1:02 AM.

It's a Sunday morning and I'm on vacation, typing this blog out to keep myself accountable to my schedule.

Maybe I enjoy writing or maybe I think it's cathartic to put my thoughts down but here I am, trying to meet some arbitrary deadline for a non-existent audience.

I imagine old poets or artists or writers honing their craft, tapping into some form of self-expression working by candle light.

But I'm not a writer.

I have no formal training. I have no obvious experience or talent in the craft.

What comes trudging from my fingers on the keyboard is a slow spill of verbal diarrhea that mixes and sloshes onto the metaphorical page.

Maybe in ten years time, I'll have some semblance of direction, structure, cohesion and creativity.

And so I continue to allow my fingers to tap, to generate.

It's 1:12 AM.

That took me 10 minutes to write.

I honestly don't know where I'm going with this piece. I vaguely wanted to capture some sense of enjoyment & passion because I am still awake and "working" even though it's vacation time but then rambled on into some self-pitying, "enlightened" monologue. I'm slowly giving myself distasteful memories of the Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (which seemed to ram the notions of enlightenment and profoundness upon the reader).

I slowly wondered if the meta-analysis of my own process would be interesting or illuminating for an audience as a behind-the-scene process but it equally worries me because the stream of consciousness that this poses should therefore remain unedited or unadulterated in all its pure, messy, convoluted essence.

So this will be an experiment.

Definitely not a productive one - so...steering way into left-field on this one since my intended content style for this blog was to discuss productivity and document my journey to optimization.

1:22 AM.

1:32AM.

Staring at the screen, thinking that I will enter some flow-state or that I will be struck with some miraculous inspiration.

Maybe someone will read this and it will provide insight that this journey can be a struggle and there are some days where writing isn't fun or easy or motivating.

Maybe someone will read this and recognize that it can be a challenge to even pursue a random personal blog for fun.

Maybe I will review my own work in the future and compare or find inspiration in this moment of weakness and messiness.

1:42AM.

So what would I want to inspire my future self with?

It's okay to struggle and have to put in the difficult, hard work.

I think that's a lesson I've learned over the years worth sharing or reminding myself of.

Struggle is good.

My parents raised me to the best of their ability to avoid hardship and struggle. They provided for me, clothed me, fed me, offered me opportunities beyond their wildest dreams. I am the first generation in my family to receive higher education and I am the first of my siblings to do post-graduate studies.

All for the sake of an easier, and "better" life.

The thing that gets left out though in those discussions or plans for the future, is that I still need to be comfortable and sometimes seek out discomfort and struggle.

To not avoid challenge, difficulty and struggle

To embrace struggle as a part of the journey

To seek out struggle and discomfort as instigators of growth

Reflecting on my life, I've been fortunate enough to not have had to endure real struggle. Not to invalidate others who've felt struggle in similar circumstances as my own, but for me, if I'm being honest with myself, I wouldn't use the word struggle and lean more towards inconvenience, obstacles, or challenges (I will also simultaneously acknowledge I minimize or discount my own negative experiences).

1:52 AM

Regardless though, maybe this one hour experiment (I'm deciding now that I'll stop my writing in an hour) will be a reminder that it's okay to be bad, to take a while, to be messy, to make mistakes, to have problems...

to struggle.

to be imperfect.

to not always have things go your way or as ideally as envisioned.

That there is beauty, importance, and authentic value in the imperfect, rushed, unprepared, honest verbal diarrhea-esque writing as well.

Sometimes, it may be important to not be "productive" or "optimized" and to sit in the mess that is chaotic, unpractical, time-wasting time. To feel. To sit with feelings. To be open and accepting of feelings.

It's 2:02 AM.

Good night.

⌚The Productivity of The Apple Watch

What Is the Apple Watch?

So, if you're into technology and gadgets, by now, I'm sure you've heard of the Apple Watch Series 7 - the latest and greatest smart watch coming to an Apple store near you in late 2021. If you haven’t heard of the Apple Watch yet, kudos to you for climbing up from under a rock.

I don't have that one.

And this post won't be able the series 7.

But the recent announcement made me reflect on my own smart watch experience and what I use mine for.

Just under a year ago, I bought the Apple Watch SE 40mm. It's my first smart watch and I'm absolutely blown away by the capacity of a smart watch to do so many things.

It's been great but when I first scoured the internet for recommended apps, productive ways to use the device and cool tips and tricks, I was left a little underwhelmed.

Handwashing timer.

Mikey Mouse watch face.

ECG app.

All a little too gimmicky for my taste.

Over the last couple months especially, I feel like the way I use my apple watch is slightly different from what I've seen reviewed elsewhere and I thought you might be interested.

The Vision.

In my mind, the apple watch is a mini-smart phone on your wrist. That was the image I was sold. I simply wanted to have a productivity-focused tool to augment my work habits.

Pomodoro timer on my wrist.

Full watch face customization.

Haptic feedback notifications.

If Apple is cramming a GPS, blood oxygen measurements and an ECG app into the device, surely my wants would be met.

After severals months of use, I can confidently report what I know to be gimmicky uses, and what is truly helpful, especially without spending another couple dollars for premium apps.

The intention was to be a simple means to offload ideas, fleeting thoughts, eureka moments, and anything else that I wanted to follow-up later on. If I was in a moment where I was preoccupied, not near my laptop, or in a place where it may not be socially acceptable to whip out my laptop or phone, I could inconspicuously talk into my watch (cause that's way more normal behavior, right?)

Here's My List of Practical Productive Tips and Tricks:

1. BC Vaccine QR Code

With the BC Vaccine Card rollout, a lot of non-essential activities and events requirer presentation of the vaccine card. At this point, I'm using it for restaurants and cafes. LOL let's not kid ourselves and think I'm going to indoor ticketed sporting events, concerts, pubs, nightclubs, casinos, movie theatres or indoor fitness gyms. But if I was, then I would also need to display the card.

Basically, a ton of of places need you to present the card.

Turning your vaccine QR code into a watch face gives you the ability to easily display the QR code. I think it's a little more subtle than blowing it up on a t-shirt and given how easy it can be to change watch faces, you can easily hide it when not in use.

[unfortunately, apple watch shortcuts do not allow photo navigation on the watch]

(I blacked out my QR code cause I'm paranoid)

2. Haptic Alerts

Haptic alerts on the watch are clutch. Period.

A non-obtrusive way to direct your attention is THE reason for a smart watch. Whereas a smart phone or computer can display the information comprehensively, the watch is the way to silently alert of you of timelines, deadlines, appointments, etc.

Ever hate how you or your partner's alarm clock has to blare in the morning, even if you don't need to wake up yet? If sound wasn't bad enough, with sunrise & sunset simulation alarms, you also have the pleasure of a fake sun shining in your face.

With haptic alerts, you can have your alarm buzz you silently, stirring you from your sleep while your partner is none the wiser.

What about if you are grabbing coffee with a friend during a work break but you have an important meeting coming up in 15 minutes and you absolutely need to leave in time. Set a timer for 12 minutes and for those 12 minutes, you can focus on catching up with your friend without rudely checking your phone incessantly. Better yet, you can do so without even needing to look at your watch - you will feel the buzz and know.

3. Voice Memos

Do you have a plan for writing down your brilliant shower thoughts? What about your thoughts while you are driving or stuck in traffic. Voice memos are a reliable and accessible way to capture your ideas for review later. Again, my vision for the watch was for a way to easily offload ideas, fleeting thoughts, Eureka moments and the like.

I haven't tried Just Press Record but I imagine it would be similar (although includes the transcription option).

Nevertheless, you get the productive gist I can suggesting. Have a genius work idea but you are at the dinner table with your family? Take 2 seconds to verbalize it and you can follow-up on it at a later time. What about a panicked thought that it's your wedding anniversary next month. Save that reminder for yourself and save yourself from the potential repercussions of forgetting (assuming you don't already have a system in place to remember).

4. Watch Faces & Complications

The ease and intuitiveness of changing watch faces is a definite productivity hack. Based on your needs, you can balance between aesthetic clean looks and utilitarian watch faces to suit your needs.

Clean Aesthetic

When I am not trying to be productive and my wife is travelling, I've got a clean layout. Clock, World Clock (set to the local time where my wife is) and quick Apple Stocks access to feed my curiosity (I will sometimes pay attention to specific stocks on the watch face too). You can find the wallpaper here if you like it.

Utilitarian - Work

When I'm working in a coffee shop or need to audit my time carefully, I use my utilitarian watch face. I've got the date and time in the right upper quadrant. I've got a big + sign on the left upper quadrant that allows me to add to-do's in my Things inbox. I've got Toggl time auditing in the middle to keep my time blocking accountable. In the bottom left I've got a Forest pomodoro timer display, in the middle lower section, I've got quick access to timers (with haptic alert) and finally Voice Memos in the lower right quadrant.

Now, you can imagine other potential watch faces for your own needs.

• Social media & fun watch face.

• Home automation watch face to control your lights, TV, thermostat, etc.

• Photography watch face (Lumy offers an exclusive one)

• Exercise watch face to control your music, podcast, exercise rings and water counter)

5. Timers

(Image Credit: Apple)

The standard Apple timer is great! It's simple to use, intuitive and has ample options for standard use before giving you a custom option. You can also use Siri if you have a non-standard timer duration. And again, haptic alerts are clutch. For me, ensuring I have some sense of accountability when I take breaks, take naps, or sit down to watch TV is vital. Otherwise, I'll just sit on the couch indefinitely because it's comfortable. Timers provide an objective finality to my breaks and facilitate my transition back to work more easily, especially in the evening after dinner (something I learned after auditing my evenings).

And That's It.

That's all I need to be productive. Timers, haptic alerts, voice memos and all of presented on an easy, clean, and productive watch face.

Blood oxygen levels, an ECG app, sending a heart emoji that beats at the same rate of my own heart or a timer to ensure I wash my hands long enough are all gimmicks in my mind (maybe the blood oxygen levels is the exception especially during COVID times and is potentially life-saving for people who are otherwise asymptomatic despite dangerously low O2 levels).

My vision for a productive apple watch was something that allowed be to be held accountable easily and regularly. I didn't want the distraction of a phone. I purely wanted something that told me the time, gave haptic feedback throughout the day, that could take memos or voice recordings, and could do so in a way that didn't burden other people or break my concentration.

If I know I have an important call in 5 minutes and I am expecting a haptic buzz in the next couple minutes, I can safely assume that's my call. Without obsessively cheeking my phone and being rude to the people I'm interacting with, the watch can simply notify me. Furthermore, I can use the watch as a quick guise of checking the time rather than rudely staring at my phone all the time.

Did I Miss Anything?

I intentionally felt that calendar access, database access (like Notion, Evernote, Todoist), and email access deserve full phone or computer access and would not be effectively reflected on the Apple Watch. For me, the apple watch would primarily help me keep on track with my goals rather than replace my currently used devices.

However, let me know if you have other awesome ideas or tidbits that you couldn't live without. I am all ears to increasing productivity.

Vacation Time - A Time For Passion Projects!

I made it! I've got 3 weeks of vacation from my day job to relax, rest, and do whatever else I want to do! And I'm pumped to work! Definitely ready for a break from work work, from the 8-4 grind and replace that with non-work work that I want to do.

(and in case you didn't already surmise it, work work is my day job, non-work work is my label for passion project work)

Now don't get it twisted. I really enjoy my work work. I love working with my coworkers, I love helping patients and I love the opportunities I get working at a hospital.

The issue is I am not in control of every aspect of that work. I don't get to invest in aspects of it that I have specific interest in and I can't control every aspect of it. Individual passion projects let me do that and if I choose to pursue these passion projects alone, then all the more control.

General Feelings of Others Towards Vacation Time

Now, leading up to my vacation time, my coworkers knew I was going on vacation. In standard social protocol, one of the first thing that most conversations with coworkers and friends dive into is:

So, what are you going to do during your vacation?

Especially during the new norm that is Covid19 times, traveling abroad, big socializing plans and the like are a rarity. So, it makes sense that the topic can pique someone's interest a little more.

What will I do with 3 weeks of vacation?

• Go away for rest at a cabin?

• Binge watch some Netflix Show?

• Explore one of the islands?

Whether I decide to lay around and do nothing in order to recharge 🔋 or disappear into the forests 🌲🌲 to disconnect from the stresses of the industrialized world, these tend to be the typical expectations for vacation.

What Vacation Time Means to Me

To me, and speaking solely for myself and my perspective, vacation is a time for work.

• Work on myself.

• Work on my passions.

• Work on keeping myself accountable to my voiced aspirations.

Imagine me scribbling on things and having timelines, but without the suit. Replace the suit with pajamas in your mental image of my productivity

It is a time to redistribute my attention and efforts into other areas of my life because I don't necessarily have the time or energy to do so during my normal work schedule.

What it does not mean to me is inactivity. It's a transfer of energy in one aspect of my life to another aspect of my life....similar to the transfer of kinetic energy to potential energy.

I feel very protective over this idea because I truly acknowledge that this is solely my perspective and applicable to only msyelf (i.e. not something I recommend to other people - you do you) but I do feel the desire to fully explain my thought process on it.

For me, I am confident and comfortable with trusting that my body continues to rest. By scheduling 6-8 hours of sleep into my schedule, I protect my body from the physical impact of work. I acknowledge that I could probably average up to 8 hours of sleep for the added consistency. With regards to mental rest, I think picking activities that are productive and give me energy are key to facilitating a productive rest period. So why not take that as a green light to push myself for things I want to do.

The General Reaction To My Feelings About Vacation

I find it so interesting when I talk to people about my plans. My plans to work more. My plans to try to intensely pursue some hobby. My plans to maintain some strict sense of momentum.

I am often met with comments of:

“You're Crazy"

"Of course, YOU would decide to work”

For whatever reason, I feel like an anomaly.

And sure, maybe I am an anomaly, but I don't think that I necessarily have to be or should be.

Why is it considered crazy to want to be productive during my breaks? And productive professionally or in my passions (not simply productive like...I did laundry, cleaned my house, Marie-Kondo'd my wardrobe - although those are awesome and amazing feats in their own right).

By the way, I am trying to write this with the perspective that I am extremely grateful and understand how privileged I am to have the time and lack of responsibilities (aka no dependents) to pursue these things. I simply wish to explain my rational and maybe my way of thinking resonates with some reader out there. Maybe it'll help you reshape or reframe your own life to pursue the things you want to pursue. Because, I do think it can be concerning that people feel the need to hibernate essentially during their vacation time - that they have worked so hard and given so much of themselves up in their day job that they've lost that intensity or drive in other aspects of their life.

Explaining How I Feel And Why I Am Excited To Work

Me excited to visit a coffee shop to work for 5 hours

I always feared the idea of becoming stagnant. Of becoming comfortable with my growth as a person.

I want to constantly aware that I suck at something. Because it means, I can pursue something and watch myself grow. I think it's vitally important to always be terrible at something because it means you can grow still. You can still gain skills. You can still become a "better" person.

Whether this is related to simple, mundane skills or career-altering skills:

• How I speak to my partner?

• How I prepare a meal? Trying a new ingredient or cooking technique.

• How I sit upright and pay attention to my posture

• How to use Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop

I hate hearing people speak about "this is the way it is", "I can't do anything about it" or anything in the same vein. Especially given my background working in the medical field, I have constant reminders that my way of life are temporary and can be uprooted or changed in the blink of an eye. From a rehabilitative and resilience perspective, it is the patients who are able to accept, embrace and implement change who recover functionally.

So why limit yourself in your abilities based on some abstract concept of "This is the way it is?"

You somehow manage to learn how to use the latest smartphone technology. You don't make a fuss about how smartphones are so challenging and instead opt for the corded home phone. You do that because you are motivated to learn the newest tech. So likewise, you should frame learning skills as something you want to do.

So What Are My Plans?

During my vacation, I plan to get ahead with my blogging. I usually find myself writing down to the wire. And I think if I produced a few pieces of content ahead of time, I would have more breathing room as well. Furthermore, I want to pursue some passion projects in cooking as well as do a bit more work on my side business ventures. I was always a little resistant to spending money on these side ventures primarily because if I could do it more slowly, maybe I could do it for cheaper, but I finally need to put my money where my mouth is.

So here it is:

• Generate a 2-3 article buffer within 1 week

• Experiment with 2-3 cuisine dishes specifically using thickener and gastronomy techniques within 1 week

• Connect with a prototyping company or manufacturer for my cup design within 2-3 weeks

• Complete 2-3 SkillShare Courses within 2-3 weeks

• Attempt creating an embroidery patch within 1 week

If I spend an hour a day for the next 2-3 weeks per item, then I'm spending 70-105 hours on productive self-directed growth. It still would only reflect 5 out of 24 hours in a day and I would still have plenty of time to rest and relax mindlessly as well.

I'll keep updating my status as I go but definitely the intention is now made public and I'm pumped to get started!

I would love to know what your thoughts are on vacation?

Do you need to disconnect, do nothing and rest?

And if so, why do you think so?

What do you think would help you reframe your mindset or protect yourself from burnout?

My Love of Coffee Shops

The smell.

The hustle and bustle.

The productive chatter and buzz in the room.

The industry as a whole reflects the microcosm of business and entrepreneurship in my eyes.

The coffee bean is one small bean in primarily South America and somehow a multi-billion dollar industry is based off this single bean.

It's just fascinating to think about it. For all the different and unique plants and seeds and beans that exist in the world, this one small bean has created an entire industry, funded hundreds of thousands of people’s livelihoods and fueled the passions of millions more. And it is through this industry that people form connections, pioneer ideas, meet to sign contracts, formulate business plans and everything else in between.

When you first step into the store, you are hit with the sweet aroma of roasted coffee beans, the familiar buzz of the coffee grinder and the intermittent squeal of pressurized air from the milk frother.

The barista takes your order and the rhythmic dull tap of the tamp can be heard to clear the left over coffee grinds after an espresso pour. The audible aeration of milk and the intense focus on the latte art pour with the precise back and forth hand motion for the pour. The abyssal black coffee swirls with the frothy white to create a light brown. The coffee oils reflected in the froth catching the rays of light from a nearby glass window pane.

I don’t know how else to describe it. There’s just something to the world of coffee shops.

So Why does it Matter to me? Why do I care?

I thrive off of an unprovoked FOMO of productivity. I want to be super productive. I want to be doing things, getting 'ahead' in life. It's my personal way of appreciating life for what it is. Sure, I acknowledge that for others it may sound like a rat-race burnout disaster in slow-motion waiting to happen, but I personally enjoy it.

I love being nosy and seeing what projects others may be pursuing.

I love hearing people speak about their craft or collaborating with other artists or professionals.

Coffee shops magically strip away some of the pretentious professional facade to the whole interaction though. Interactions become a bit more organic, a little less professional and more casual. They really put a spotlight on those that truly are passionate about their craft.

Characteristics or Features of a Coffeeshop

So, what makes a good coffee shop in my books? I've broken it down into a few things. Keep in mind, my ratings and values are shaped by my intentions at a coffee shop.

1. Cleanliness & Aesthetic

2. Creativity & Collaboration

3. Music Choice

4. Outlet Plugs & Internet Access (if it was just about the coffee, this wouldn't mean shit)

5. Coffee Quality

1. Cleanliness & Aesthetic

For me, a clean and minimal aesthetic is awesome. Wood accents, cement flooring, white subway tiles. Lots of sunlight, bright walls. I don't want fabric booth seats, cushions, anything that can collect a stain, hold a smell, feel un-wipeable or convey dirtiness. Especially during COVID19 times, even the visual of regular and frequent cleaning by staff is preferred.

For me, as a self-identifying millenial, those ideas are important to me. Sure, I understand the argument against a $5 coffee. Why the hell would anyone pay for a $5 coffee when a $1-2 is fine too from Tim Hortons.

The answer is the aesthetic. A premium experience justifies a premium price. Watching a teenager work a minimum wage job dragging a dirty mop on the ground doesn't communicate cleanliness to me. Furthermore, I’m going for the experience of the coffee tasting - Tim Hortons coffee just doesn’t compare. Sure, it is decent coffee but the taste profile isn’t as sophisticated, nuances, unique or enjoyable.

And if the intention for me is to work at a coffee shop, the $5 price tag to justify my stay is cheaper than a WeWork monthly price. So ultimately, it's a cheaper experience.

2. Creativity & Collaboration

Who is in the coffee shop also affects the atmosphere of the space. A coffee shop primarily of retired men reminiscing about the past is not going to have the same atmosphere as a coffee shop where artists and creatives are rushing to get a project out. And then there’s everything in between. There’s the studious quiet kids with a textbook. There’s the college kids who go to study but wind up spending all their time scrolling TikTok, Instagram or Snapchat. Depending on the demographic, the pace and feel of a coffee shop will change. Personally, the energy of the young professional demographic appeals to me at my current age. The chatter in the room is more relatable, relevant, contemporary. Furthermore, the pace and subject matter is morre relevant to me as a working professional.

So yeah. I love seeing people work. Whether it's the barista working on new latte art, an architect meeting clients to show a design, a real estate agent meeting potential clients, or a photographer and their model meeting to discuss a game plan for the shoot day. It is such an impactful motivator to see other professionals focused on their craft or passions. Maybe you're sitting beside the next Zuckerburg or a future heart surgeon.

Coffee shops have always been a place of connection and interaction. And seeing people foster those connections, grow their skills, hone themselves is an amazing privilege to see. It is a privilege to see others grow into a better version of themselves and to feel some degree of contribution to the vibe, to the atmosphere, is awesome!

3. Music Choice

Coffee shop music has become identity-defining. It can tell a story of the shop's cultural identity as well as their intentions in a community. Radio pop music is a safe bet. Not particularly offensive, but not particularly unique either. Consider it the stan of coffee shops.

A pure hip hop shop (looking at you, Nemesis) gives you street cred in my eyes. It also distinguishes a coffee shop's identity in its community.

Too bass-y music can be distracting if it penetrates or overpowers your own headphones or music. We're not aiming for club bangers or else we'd go to a club. Not enough bass though can be uninspiring because there isn't a beat to the shop — it doesn't feel alive or the spot.

Music choice dictates who is going to congregate at a location. It also indicates who is likely going to be attracted to a location.

4. Outlet Plugs & Internet Access - The Productivity Lifeblood

Outlet plugs are the life source of a nomadic worker. Especially now with Covid, the working remote life is so prevalent among professionals, that people are constantly looking for spots to work and power their electronics.

A stable, free wifi connection is the other life source for a productive working space. Now I understand that some coffee shops do not aim to support or facilitate prolonged stays. That's their prerogative and that's totally cool (looking at you, Elysian Coffee) but internet access is the way to my heart. Internet lets me do work.

If you have free internet, I don't need to sign up or log in with my email, and I can check my email, research things on the internet and connect to my online cloud-based services, then that's awesome!

5. Coffee Quality

Now, finally, the actual coffee. I wouldn't say I'm a coffee connoisseur but I do enjoy a good cup of coffee and appreciate well-prepared coffee. So when going to a coffee shop, having the experience of a bold or unique tasting coffee is a treat or experiment that I cannot have at a Starbucks or Tim Hortons.

I think most premium coffee shops meet the general standard for the premium price, but the things I consider include:

• How do they prepare your coffee?

• Am I being made a personalized coffee or receiving drip coffee?

• What are the available coffee bean options and where are they from?

For me, I personally like a high elevation, small weight bean. Definitely more unique flavour profiles for me. Again, I would like to re-emphasize I'm not a coffee connoisseur — simply a man who likes to audit things and coffee enjoyment happened to be one of those things. Add in where the batch of coffee came from, the elevation and the flavour profile and bam....I've made some associations and correlations.

Which Coffee Shops Do The Best Job

In Metro Vancouver, here's a few that hit the mark for me. I do live in the downtown core so walkability is important to me.

• Pallet Coffee - 980 Howe St, Vancouver, BC V6Z 1N9

  ✅ Spacious, has outlets, nice plant wall

  ❌ More professional, less chill vibe, not open late or on weekends

• Nemesis Coffee - 302 W Hastings St, Vancouver, BC V6B 2N4

  ✅ Spacious, awesome music, bright layout and aesthetic

  ❌ No internet, no power outlets

• Matchstick Coffee - 1328 Richards St, Vancouver, BC V6B 3G6

  ✅ Spacious, clean aesthetic, internet, some power outlets

  ❌ More for lounging

• Honolulu Coffee - 888 Nelson St g1, Vancouver, BC V6Z 2H1

  ✅ Spacious, good internet

  ❌ Aesthetic is less clean nor minimal for me, awkward long narrow layout

• Cafe La Foret - 6848 Jubilee Ave, Burnaby, BC V5J 4B3

  ✅ Spacious, tons of greenery, bustling vibe

  ❌ Pretty loud, uncomfortable seating, food isn't great

The ones on my list to visit include:

• Foglifter Coffee

• Kafka - the new one on 577 Great Northern Way, Vancouver, BC V5T 1E1

• Harken Coffee

• Pallet Coffee - on 395 Alexander St, Vancouver

Now, I 100% acknowledge my preferences for coffee shops are entirely biased towards my enjoyment of sitting in front of a computer for hours and working so maybe these ratings or considerations don't match up for you.

I would be interested though in knowing if I'm missing some awesome places. I do wish there was a study vibe bubble tea shop. That would be sweet but in the interim, let me know of some sweet coffee shops to explore.

Know Your Productive Self

People don't always start on their productive journey being productive or optimized. I don't consider myself a guru or anything of the sort, but over the years I have realized that it is a topic I care about and spend time on whereas my peers may not. I'll at least count myself somewhat educated, slightly ahead of oblivious or uninterested. When framing myself as pursuing optimization, even using the term 'optimized' in the past tense feels weird but it suggests some sort of finality or end to the pursuit - that it can be fulfilled or achieved.

From a personal perspective, it is something I am interested in and something I aspire to be better at. I 100% recognize and acknowledge I will never be fully optimized but in the journey of striving for it, I can get better. When I think of my own productivity journey, there are very niche and specific things that I think about — specific things about myself that I know make me more productive or less productive.

• Knowing that I like to listen to non-English music or music without lyrics.

• Knowing that I like to have timers or apps to restrict my internet access.

• Knowing that I like standing or crouching in my seat.

• Knowing that I like working when it's dark out or people are sleeping.

These are things that I have learned about myself, my psyche, my personality and my outlook. Over the years, I have slowly learned these things about myself because of the experimentation I have done, the intentionality of my pursuit for productivity and the ongoing interest in productivity beyond my years in schooling.

And ultimately, it stems from 2 specific things.

1. A pursuit of optimization

2. A degree of honesty about myself to myself.

So what does this have to do with you. Well, you have enough interest to read my blog. So either you're interested in me (and I'm flattered) OR you're interested in productivity and want to take a few first steps in your productivity journey. Congrats and welcome to a life looking into inefficiencies, creating routines, and pursuing your interests with an intensity that not many appreciate.

Now, it is only because I am looking to optimize my productivity, that I pay attention to these things — these idiosyncrasies. If I wasn't looking for or paying attention to things to optimize, I wouldn't bat an eye at these patterns. So #1, there has to be a desire to want to improve.

If you aren't wishing to improve, then there's no need or reason to pay attention or audit your productivity. Because you are satisfied. If that's the case, stop there. You're not looking for more and that's great! That's you. Many people in my life enjoy that lifestyle, enjoy their work-life balance around 50/50 and that's amazing for them. I, on the other hand, enjoy trying to achieve some abstract idea of full potential. I honestly don't know what that means to be honest, but I want to make every second of my life count on Earth. And the only way I really know how to do that is to do things better, faster, more regularly. Scheduling my life, keeping myself on a path, designing my life around the things that I think interest me. Those intentional choices keep me accountable to myself and keep me focused on what I designed for myself so that I don't always get distracted by other people and their goals, dreams and wants.

If that explanation resonates with you - if you are looking to pursue productivity optimization, keep reading.

#2 is a degree of honesty about myself to myself. There's a unique vulnerability and honesty that needs to happen when you audit yourself. You know your inner self — your ugliness, your short-sightedness, your flaws. You need to recognize and be accepting of your weaknesses to move forward. This is actually a hard thing to do because you need to have the willpower to hedge against yourself and have the self-discipline to stick to it and trust the process.

I know I love watching YouTube. I spend hours on it if I don't keep myself in check. There's so many interesting content creators from so many different walks of life and they all bring such valuable content to the platform. To give you a sense of my breadth of knowledge on the platform, I go from:

Dimension 20 Brennan Lee Mulligan's D&D roleplay

to

Thomas Frank's Notion Tutorials for Optimizing Everything

to

Ice Cream Sandwich's Stick Figure Drawings About the Mundane

to

Ido Portal's Gravity Defying Feats of the Human Body

Anywho, if don't keep myself in check, there goes an entire weekend day.

If I let myself nap, say goodbye to 2-3 hours of my day. So I also typically avoid the couch or bedroom because I know I will be tempted to lie down.

So basically, I design my productivity around these weaknesses so I never give myself the opportunity to be tempted.

So Now What?

Well, I think you need to figure out what you want to do in your life. Are you satisfied? If you are satisfied with where you are, there's no need to push yourself to do more, or optimize, or eliminate temptations that would otherwise be great things in certain contexts (e.g. Watching YouTube about your hobby is a great way to unwind if you aren't trying to be productivity).

So, sit down with yourself and ask what's next.

Either way, you know what you want in life and you are responsible for your life and where you go. I'm obsessed with reaching my full potential so that's why I do this but I love the journey of trying. That's what gives me satisfaction.

Hope you know what gives you satisfaction too!

Kaizen - Continuous Improvement

What is Kaizen And Why Do I Care About It

I was first introduced to the concept of Kaizen through kendama. I would like to believe it was a personal philosophy that I already applied in my daily life but there was a liberating Aha moment to label it - to express it verbally and to know others have likewise acknowledged it.

Rooted in the Japanese industrial revolution post-WWII, Kaizen emerged in a business context for lean manufacturing or streamlined supply chain.

Kaizen is a daily process, the purpose of which goes beyond simple productivity improvement. It is also a process that, when done correctly, humanizes the workplace, eliminates overly hard work (muri), and teaches people how to perform experiments on their work using the scientific method and how to learn to spot and eliminate waste in business processes – Wikipedia

Having had the privilege to travel to Japan on multiple occasions, whether it is consciously or intentionally targeted or not, the culture there exudes pride in skilled craftsmanship and artisanship. Whether it is manifested in the best served coffee, the best ramen chef, a yakitori grill master, or anything in between, there is a quiet and calm passion and pride. And it was magical to watch these people perform. Might I add that in Japanese culture, tipping isn’t the norm either, it was just part of their job (although I did tip well based on the care and attention they provided).

Shiro Dreams of Sushi captures this concept nicely as well. In the documentary, the audience learns that it takes approximately 10 years of practice to master tomagoyaki - a Japanese rolled omelette dish. 10 years. 3650 days.

10 years.

The level of perfection, criticism, persistence and the roller coaster of emotions involved must've been palpable.

Really.

Take some time to consider that.

10 years of making a dish day in and day out. 10 years of work to only feel like you've mastered it after 10 years. It flips the notion of Western culture mastery on its head. You are not aspiring to get to the next thing, attain some new height or unlock new skills. It is the basic skill refined to perfection. It is the samurai blade swing over and over and over until it is an extension of your arm.

It would be akin to cooking scrambled eggs. But aspiring to make the perfect scrambled eggs. Can you imagine being critical of your scrambled eggs for 10 years straight if you cooked scrambled eggs every day? The egg yolk was too runny. The temperature of the pan was slightly too low. The yolk was not perfectly centered in the egg white when cooked. The amount of salt added was inadequate. The consistency of the egg white was too rubbery.

Can you imagine the muscle memory and skill in those fingers?

Life Approach

Personally, the concept of Kaizen inserts intentionality in my life.

• Intentionality provides an internal locus of control.

• An internal locus of control provides structure.

• Structure provides calmness.

What am I doing with my life?

What do I want to achieve during my time on Earth?

Am I happy?

The concept of Kaizen allows me to frame my existence in terms of progress. It assumes and embraces my existence as imperfect and focuses on the journey to mastery while still maintaining a relevant target objective. Furthermore, it proposes a fundamental need to strive for daily progress and improvement. This forces regular discussions on tangible or concrete gains because for me, abstract or theoretical gains are difficult to appreciate.

• I wholeheartedly accept the idea that I will never be the best.

• I wholeheartedly understand and accept that I am a flawed human being.

• I understand that on a day-by-day basis, I can do one thing better.

And it is in these simple truths, that I attribute meaning to my life. I can imagine some people would look at this perspective and think it’s weird or it’s stressful or not enjoyable but to me, it sounds much more interesting to pursue my own potential than solely consume the content driven by other people’s potentials. It is through leaving my mark on the world (via my mind, my craft, my interests, my relationships, and my interactions with the world around me), that I communicate my existence to others.

Approach For Specific Skills

Kaizen gets me pumped way more because I appreciate other's skills more. I feel that invigorating feeling when I see older people working in coffee shops, when I see bakers at ungodly hours doing their grind, and people pursuing their passions in the most unique or niche markets.

I think the idea of Kaizen also allows one to combat analysis paralysis. It is the means that argues or resists stagnancy because you realize you have an internal locus of control that pushes you one step forward. That you must take that one step forward to continue to embody that way of thinking.

Let's take blogging for example. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm desperately trying to keep up my schedule. But as long as I continue to blog regularly, I will improve. And so I write. It may not always be good but hopefully I’m getting better every time I write. I certainly am thinking about writing much more regularly.

Sure, one step forward may not seem like much but after a year, that's 365 steps forward past a point you thought was your furthest.

And that's WAAAAYYY better than thinking and rethinking over and over for that perfect first step.

As I have gotten older, it has time and time again surprised me how long I've committed to something as well as how long I have deferred something that I said I wanted to do or learn.

I have wanted to post Youtube videos for the longest time. I've thought about it, I've written scripts for myself, I've invested money into getting the best lighting, the best microphone, the best camera I could afford to get all my ducks in a row.

And yet...no consistent video production.

By no means am I perfect or anywhere close to it...I’ve failed countless times but I absolutely cannot stop. Because if I stop, it means I stop improving.

Writing about productivity and performance optimization already gives me feelings of fraud.

But again, day by day, if I continue to grow, put myself out there, and work on one aspect for improvement, I am guaranteed to progress.

Maybe 10 years from now, I'll be closer to that goal and no longer feel like a fraud.

My point being that I'd rather try than not.

And so, I seek out those experiences.

I don't want to lie on a couch and binge watch some TV show.

I don't want to feel my mind settle.

I want to push myself.

To surprise myself.

To see what I am capable of.

I want to be...

To be a better husband

To be a better son

To be a better coworker

To be a better friend

To be a better photographer

To be a better blogger

I have a thousand things I want to do better. But it isn't overwhelming because I only need to do one thing better today. I have a lifetime to improve and I have a lifetime to grow. I know I will never be perfect but it is in the journey that I find meaning and it is in the desire to improve that I wake up excited for the next day.

So what about you?

Is there something you want to do better that you can do one thing better?

What's that one long term goal that you've always told yourself you wish you could do.

What is one thing you can do today to get closer?

Social Listening: Insights Worth Applying To Your Communication

Gary Vee & Social Listening

Gary Vee posted a blog coining the phrase Social Listening and spoke on his perspective, application and mindset towards digital mediums of communication. From a purely business perspective, it is an interesting take on the potential of digital mediums, the human touch he brings to a stereotypically labelled cold interaction and the applications for skilled digital communication strategies.

He describes social listening as the action you do through digital mediums to mimic the listening aspect of communication in conversation. Through digital media, many platforms and applications for these digital spaces primarily revolve around content creation or expression similar to a guy on the street with a megaphone (he's not there to listen).

He juxtaposes the online communication experience to a relatable in-person discussion. In the example, you overhear someone speaking in person about your brand. It is highly reasonable and understandable in an in-person context to engage with this customer, thank them for their patronage, and engage them in a conversation about the likes, dislikes and overall sentiment towards your brand and product. However, these type of interaction occurs online regularly but business owners are not necessarily seeing the potential interaction as similar. Gary Vee argues these two situations are two peas in a pod and should be approached similarly - introduce yourself and insert yourself as the business owner into these conversations.

Social Listening And Its Implications for Communication As a Whole

I would argue that social listening is an extension of normal listening, simply with different factors or priorities. Whereas a face-to-face interaction, listening and understanding values body language, intonation, the sound of the voice and what is said, digital interactions primarily rely on what is written, why it was written and how it was written.

I would argue that social listening is a boiled-down version of real-life conversation. Therefore, I think it's important to evaluate these nuggets of wisdom and apply them systematically into our own communication.

For example, Gary Vee raises an interesting point on the accessibility to customer pain points, discernment of company image health, access to influencers and ambassadors in the industry and the ability to connect with your customer base on a deeper level.

What I hear is the opportunity to engage in deliberate and intentional communication. How often do we participate in communication with others in face-to-face interactions with limited interest, limited effort and see it as an opportunity?

What is the opportunity, you ask? I'll tell you.

I think the online dynamics of digital communication are the following:

1. The text-based nature focuses on strong written communication skills. Learning to develop the craft of written expression is a means of better communicating your inner thoughts and feelings clearly. By extension, applying clear, concise and straightforward principles to your verbal communication develops your ability to surgically use the perfect word to describe your thoughts.

2. Joining a digital conversation and trying to listen involves actually listening to what they say and responding appropriately. People can smell BS easily and we've all seen the unwarranted hawking via email, youtube comment or Instagram post. They never listen but instead ceaselessly sell, sell, sell. It becomes tone-deaf because, without social listening, they do establish relationships or show a genuine interest in others.

3. Online conversations have accountability. Unlike real-life conversations, digital communication has a paper trail that can be audited. The advantage to this is as opposed to real-life situations where charismatic, personable favour may score you an advantage, digital text-based interactions are largely tethered to the content. I just imagine charismatic people with a limited contextual contribution to an in-person dominate an interaction purely because they are charming, confident and command attention. These skills do not transfer so well to text because the skills they rely on have limited sway online. Instead, conversations require intentional, genuine, and thought-provoking engagement. And best of all, it is very easy for people to refer back to previous statements. People can simply score up, read how a conversation was managing prior to an individual or talking point and compare that to after an individual or talking point was raised.

   For example, my online comment that I would be posting every Sunday is now forever proven false, because this blog post is going up Monday instead. Now, I can give you all the reasons and so forth but you can follow the conversation or statements that I have made and make your own judgments.

Gary summarizes his takeaways as follows:

Social listening boils down to a few key things:

It eliminates the guesswork. When you’re actively listening, you don’t have to wonder what will resonate — you know, because you’ve been paying attention.

It allows you to join larger conversations. Social listening removes you from your brand bubble and lets you view things within the context of bigger cultural conversations. When you’re properly informed about your target audience’s values, interests, and concerns, you ensure that your brand remains relevant and conscious while avoiding missteps that could lead to a PR crisis.

It shows that you care. Consumer attention is a privilege, not a right. If you want to keep it, you have to actually give a damn about those you claim to serve…and the best service comes from listening.

Now how does this skill of social listening apply to improve your communication? From the perspective of a speech-language pathologist, here's what I think.

1. Social listening is a good way to practice communicating clearly and concisely via text.

   • You practice clear, straightforward communication with a character limit.

   • Spelling is less important, grammar is sometimes less important and instead, content and delivery are prioritized.

2. You have a wonderful audience to practice your written communication with. Participating in an online community allows for authentic interactions, the practice of vocabulary use that you are interested in and potentially hundreds and hundreds of people to DM to get feedback on whether they understood you.

3. Demonstrating a keen and genuine interest in others is important. It was raised as a point in Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and the sentiment is persistent and steadfast. Gary Vee takes the spin from an entrepreneurial perspective and argues the gratitude and appreciation that consumer attention is a privilege. My perspective as a communication specialist would be the notion that giving attention to others is a communicative act. When in the digital medium, body language and eye contact and such are not relevant but it means the insightfulness and thoughtfulness of your comments and questions communicates your investment in the conversation.

So what do you think about Social Listening? Do you think it's a revolutionary perspective or idea or are these tried and true principles to communication?

Blog Challenge - Day 1 (Part 3)

Why I Will Succeed?

Why Do I Think I Can Successfully Write a Blog With Zero Professional Experience?

For whatever reason, I have never thought of myself as a confident person. That term was reserved for interview keyword dropping but it wouldn't be a defining characteristic that resonated with me. The archetypal confident person in my mind is someone who doesn't falter; someone who doesn't have doubts and speaks primarily in a matter-of-fact way.

Consider it done.

This is a time-sensitive matter that must be addressed immediately.

What you are asking cannot be done.

I don't think like that. Whether it's a personality trait, a preference for approaching decisions using the scientific method or an unhealthy dose of skepticism, I always like to go through a pros & cons list and consider the options. When considering taking on responsibility, new endeavours or challenges, I weigh out what aspects of the job hold an internal locus of control and what holds an external locus of control. In essence, I would think of myself as having a calm and logical trust in my own capabilities. As I have grown older, had more life experience and spoken to others about their own introspective views, I have come to recognize my self-belief as confidence and because it is broken down into such a logical way, it eliminates some of the uncertainty.

I know that long intro basically feels like I'm blowing smoke up my own ass or talking from some high horse but I think it is my truth in regards to self-esteem. I know my limits, I know what I can trust myself to do and witnessing the incompetence of others with higher credentials, higher salaries, & positions of power has ultimately instilled in me a quiet but resolute belief in myself to get the job done. Maybe in a future blog I can talk about the incompetencies of others...but we'll stick to why I think I'll successfully blog.

The way I've broken it down essentially falls into 2 camps.

1. My mentality and personality

2. My goal

Based on these two fundamental factors, I am aware of my reasons and responsibilities in this commitment and as a result, feel like I can responsibly and consistently meet those requirements.

My Mentality and Personality

I'm a straight shooter. I feel like I've learned to tamper or soften my bluntness but that filter doesn't need to exist for myself. I can talk shit to myself all I want and push my own buttons to light a fire under my ass.

I like getting things done.

I like crossing things off my to-do list.

I like having self-imposed deadlines to be accountable to myself.

I also understand and am confident in my work ethic, persistence and desire to accomplish this. The partial contradiction though is that I'm not the type to fervidly attack a project, I will forgive myself if my goals change, and I am under no delusions about the timeline or amount of work necessary.

My goal is a personal goal that is dependent on me. It's an internal locus of control to accomplish. Its success or failure falls solely on my actions. And that is a liberating thought.

I have also come to terms with the idea that I enjoy a skewed work-life balance. Whereas my coworkers generally communicate the need or want for breaks, rest, or relaxation, I seek out more learning, more work, or more challenge in other aspects of my life. I do know how to relax, but the overall trend is I want to put myself into more situations for monetary, professional or personal growth. I realized that my personal desire for work-life balance skews 70-80% to 20-30%, respectively.

So Why Blogging Specifically?

So why blogging? Although I would qualify myself as an introvert, I do like to communicate and writing tends to be my best or most strategic way to communicate. I'm a thinker, wouldn't say the latency of my witty responses is sufficient for speech and writing allows me to first evaluate my thoughts.

So Why Publicly Announce It?

Why even tell others about this goal? Why say it aloud?

Because I know myself and accountability requires something at stake. And what better way to have that accountability than strangers on the internet. The internet is great for calling out people's BS so why not put that out there for that purpose. I can honestly say I dropped the ball on my previous blogging efforts. I used to write weekly for my own private consulting business and then just one day stopped. I also previously podcasted once a week. I also stopped doing that. It sucks and my goal is to pick those efforts up again. I just know I haven't yet and it's frustrating on a daily basis to know that I haven't restarted it yet.

And so, with my pursuit of self-improvement, enjoyment of working and preference to think things through, the only question I had was what do I want to accomplish?

And that leads me to #2.

My Goal

What would be my goal for this blog?

Fame?

Fortune?

Those certainly are not my current aspirations. I enjoy my anonymity and am in the fortunate enough situation where I can comfortably sustain my current standard of living, while also investing into my future. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to more money and if that ever comes to fruition, then amazing! But that has nothing to do my reason for blogging.

So what is the reason for blogging?

It is purely an internal goal or challenge designed to bootstrap my internal ticks.

• I want to work.

• I enjoy having a chip on my shoulder and doing something people may think I cannot do.

• I enjoy improving myself (even if random ways like creative writing, self-branding, & entertaining)

Ultimately, I'm doing this for just me and so if that is true, it absolutely doesn't matter what anyone else thinks and as long as I continue to hold these values as true, my perception of this goal will remain consistent and it'll remain important to me.

If I "fail", then that's a failure between me and myself - not you. If I no longer find it interesting, then again, that's a comment on where I am in my life based on my life experience and current desires/problems - again, nothing to do with you.

So if I know my goal is for self-development, I know how I tick and what will make me work consistently, and my driving force is not based on an external validation, then all it will take is time and patience because the routine was already established a couple blog posts earlier. Now it's just a matter of doing the workday in and day out.

So what's a goal you want to achieve? And why do you think you will succeed? I don't want to hear about all the reasons why you can't do something. We all know there are hundreds of reasons why something will fail - our inner monologue tells that to us on the daily. I challenge you to be introspective and honest about how you tick. Be logical about how and why you absolutely will achieve something and when you frame it that way, maybe you'll actually achieve that success.

Blog Challenge - Day 1 (Part 2)

3 Chips on My Shoulders

I think there is something special about people who wish to prove a point or prove someone false. There is almost a poetic and cathartic heart string that is tugged when these kinds of events happen and they are almost immortalized by this underdog, unproven, against-all-odds story.

These stories in my head hold a power over me in a self-fulfilling prophesy kind of way and I think that if I manifest some sort of challenge or slight against myself, it drives my competitive juices, empowering me to to go beyond my limits.

Here's The Top 3 Chips on My Shoulder I've Manifested In My Life.

So let's set the stage. You can't fully understand someone's chips on their shoulders without understanding how they grew up and the impression that certain moments, people, and culture left on them.

Growing up, I don't think I honestly had any significant hardship. As privileged as I am to say that, it's the truth and I know a hundred different reasons and people who definitely had it worse and for that I am eternally grateful; I do not take that blessing lightly and it does not go unappreciated. I grew up with two loving parents, two older siblings and a home. I was provided the clothing and food I needed and was given a stable living situation. We moved to a up and coming suburb, I went to a good school and I had a good education. I had the luxury to participate in extra-curricular activities, and stayed out of trouble. I actually specifically recall listening to 90's rap music and comparing the struggles that rappers would talk about to my life and the lack of a corresponding event.

In some delusional way, I turned that into a challenge of some sort. A mission or reason to search for discomfort, challenge, and opportunity for growth to avoid plateauing or remaining stationary in life.

Chip #1 - I had no childhood struggle, so I forced challenge upon myself.

Now, I never got into trouble or forced myself into situations to break the law or anything to crippling my academic potential or future standing. Instead, I went about forcing academic struggle (What can I say - I'm a geek).

In high school, that came in the form of the International Baccalaureate (IB) program. It's similar to the AP program (for those of you who haven't heard of the IB program), a chance to mingle with the gifted students and a chance to rank myself amongst my peers.

I specifically remember needing to convince my family, talk to my Grade 8 teachers and justify that I could succeed because they were worried I would struggle. Looking back and reflecting now, I realize how pigeon-holed that experience was. People were literally telling me I should avoid struggle in my life when one's entire existence to some degree is a struggle against the odds. I know it's coming from a good place but just imaging a teacher telling me I cannot or should not pursue something because they think I'm not smart enough to or that I will struggle....and at the age of 13-14.

It's a mind-jarring experience upon reflection to be told to avoid struggle but luckily I had two defining moments in that struggle. One - My brother in law made the argument that my family should allow me to choose my path and choose the struggles I wish to endure. I was never at that meeting but I remember hearing that and appreciating the autonomy as a teenager to decide my own path. Two - My uncle in Hong Kong once told me to not fear or shy away from working hard or working long hours. That really resonated with me because I was allowed to struggle and allowed to embrace that struggle. I think growing up in a relatively normal academic environment, struggle equals incompetence or ineptitude. But in actuality, struggle can equal normal development of proficiency and shying away from hard work on the assumption of ineptitude fully disrupts growth and mastery.

Anyways, I digress. The point being my first chip was the existence of doubters or discomfort avoiders. And over my high school existence, I demonstrated the capacity to complete the IB program with all the struggles, sleep deprivation, stress, and so forth. I was intellectually capable of completing the IB program and feel ultimately no different in intellectual capability to peers who have gone on to becoming doctors, lawyers, PhDs, pharmacists, software engineers and so forth.

Chip #2 - My Chinese Zodiac Says I Am Lazy

I am not one to be superstitious but in Chinese culture, it is a fairly pervasive and ingrained aspect of the culture. You cannot truly experience or embrace Chinese culture without acknowledging or accepting some of these aspects because the Chinese culture was in part formed through a majority belief in these doctrines and principles.

Anywho, I was told I'd be a pain in my father's ass since as early as I can remember. I also remember being told I would always be lazy. The reason why is because I was born in the year of the snake. My dad was born in the year of the pig and apparently the snake and pig don't align well and I'm supposed to terrorize him. As a reptile, I'm also apparently lazy. I remember any chance I got to sit down or watch cartoons instead of study, play piano, or anything else was because it was characteristic of me. Reflecting back, I was literally acting the same way that any 8-13 year old would act but I somehow had this predestined association based solely on the year I was born...which again, I had no control over.

I truly believe that I now am incapable of "wasting time" for long periods. I feel guilty and restless. I must always try to improve myself, pursue something that is practical or responsible and do so regularly just to prove the point that I am not lazy.

Ultimately this feeling has probably helped me advance my career and personal development but also fostered unnecessary feelings of guilt for literally no reason.

Chip #3 - The Immigrant Mentality

Although I am not an immigrant and I was born in Canada, I like to adopt an immigrant mentality. Maybe it speaks to feeling like a minority (although I did live in an area where Chinese was essentially a majority) but for whatever reason, I adopted my parent's immigrant status. There's something about associating with a hustler, a grinder, an outcast who is so good that they're impossible to ignore - and I wanted that.

And so, I've always aspired to be better, be willing to sacrifice more, be willing to do more to prove my value. My family didn't have roots here so we had to forcibly make space for ourselves to have a community, have a success story and be better.

Even thinking about the success that it has been so far - my parents moved to Canada and supported 3 children to have a university education - makes me feel so proud to have accomplished what only one generation ago has not achieved. Furthermore, I am the only one in my family to have a graduate degree.

So yeah, visualizing myself as an immigrant has focused my perception to seek opportunity, remain vigilant and overly prepared for changing markets and dynamics, live with an entrepreneurial attitude and focus on leaving a lasting legacy.

I Am Who I Am Because Of My Outlook On Life

I know without a doubt that these 3 chips on my shoulders shape my outlook on life and my path through it. The fact that I made my own website, that I am trying to put my passions on display is purely to hold myself accountable to some undefined audience. I make these challenges and responsibilities in my mind to build up the stakes so I push through adversity, make deadlines, and achieve some vague sense of full potential.

I do this because my outlook on life allows me to take pleasure and satisfaction in pursuing an abstract goal. You may draw some abstract line in the sand about when this pursuit becomes all-encompassing and unhealthy and I certainly have a vague idea of where I might cross that line but it is through explaining these aspects of my life that you have a better understanding of who I am, how I operate, and why I am hellbent on optimizing myself and reaching a maximum potential.

If you disagree, let me know the reasons below. If some of this resonates with you too, I'd love to hear it too!

Blog Challenge - Day 1 (Part 1)

Couldn’t find an image of apathy, so here’s a calming picture of a faceless emotionless figure staring into the distance.

Why am I apathetic?

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that I am largely apathetic about most things. I just don’t seem to care about a majority of decisions, events, or things and I’ve never truly taken the time to consider why. Deciding on writing a blog post about my apathy gave me the perfect opportunity to actually reflect on it and here’s what I figured out.

Definition - What Exactly is Apathy?

First, I’ll clarify what I mean by apathy. Growing up and even til this day, I really didn’t care a lot about most things.

I don’t really care about food [I’ve learned to appreciate it and look forward to it on weekends and vacations]

I don’t care about things [a minimalist lifestyle would be my leaning but I’m married to a ‘maximalist’ haha], and

I don’t care about sharing my opinions with other people.

Recently, I learned of the term that I think I incorrectly attributed to apathy but is in fact equanimity. Especially in North America, being indifferent, uncaring, unemotional and otherwise plateau’d in one’s emotions, passions, or thoughts has a negative connotation. If you don’t care about what you eat, if you don’t have opinions about which movie or activity your group of friends are choosing between, and if you don’t communicate with your loved ones how they make you feel, it can come across as ungrateful or isolating. The way I interpreted it, I felt my apathy to most things boiled down my opinions to only the bare essentials - my family, my friends, and my personal aspirations. I didn’t care about what movie I spent $12 on with my friends because my goal was to spend time with my friends, not the movie. And if one of my friends who did care about what movie we watched had a stronger opinion because they cared about an actor, the cinematography or some director, then who was I to express a half-assed opinion otherwise.

Now I haven’t done enough research into equanimity to feel confident I can explain it justly but check out the first sentence on Wikipedia.

Equanimity is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind.

Whereas apathy has a clinical pathological association with many brain disorders, the sentiments of equanimity have ties to religious and spiritual enlightenment. I did often wonder if there was something weird about me, whether I was too logical or too emotionally unavailable or if I was a bad friend, child, sibling and son. Now, I’ve come to terms with myself, my values and my personality. I can’t say how much of my biochemistry makes me like this but certainly my personality and mindset are geared this way.

I don’t care about many things so I can focus on the few things that are precious to me. My family. My friends. My goals for achieving while I am alive.

Nothing else matters. I won’t remember my choice of food. I won’t remember my choice of movie. I won’t care about where I travel to next, as long as the focus and priority is on traveling with the people I love and care for.

Stoicism

In university and post-grad life, philosophy, principles of thinking and mindset became important considerations for how I wanted to live. Choices and decisions became increasingly grey in a world where I previously felt and operated in the black and white. Maybe it was a welcome to adulthood transition but with age, I started to be less strict with myself and even just keeping up to date with the news, felt that wrong and right or yes and no became more muddled. Stumbling into stoicism through books and references from Tim Ferriss, I think the appeal of stoicism is three-pronged.

1. A realist approach that revolves around the current state of affairs

2. A principled attention to equality and justice

3. A continued purposeful goal of personal improvement

The practicality that is advocated in stoic teachings as well as the pursuit of moderation resonated with my already temperate nature but now I had a name for it and some fundamental principles to better dictate the terms. I remember getting all excited about finding a philosophy. reading about it in my spare time, telling my coworkers that Letters from a Stoic by Seneca was my commuter reading. I remember reading about principles that rang true even now with current events.

Knowing that I will die. Knowing that I should maximize my potential every day while I am alive. Approaching a growth mindset focusing on my own improvement, recognizing my own flaws, and identifying the aspects within my control to change and those beyond my control have all boiled down my experience to what is truly changeable.

Upbringing

I think three particular lessons I learned growing up lend themselves to my “apathy”.

1. Life Goes On Even If Everything Isn’t Going Your Way.

If you asked my mom for my go-to phrase as a kid, it would be “Doesn’t matter”, “You choose” or “I don’t know”. These were my go-to phrases, especially in Cantonese where I’d self-identify as having a Grade 1 proficiency. When we went out to eat, it was just easier to eat whatever food was given to me, I didn’t need to think about it and my mom would choose something with meat, vegetables and a carb to fill me up. I think especially when it came to food, most things were fair game (except durian, bitter melon, and chicken feet).

My mom loves to tell the story about wanton noodles after church. Almost every Sunday for years, we would go for wanton noodles for lunch after church. Finally, one day, I told my mom that I didn’t like wanton noodles. For whatever reason, I didn’t express this opinion for probably 6 years but that one day decided to share it. I certainly wasn’t opposed to eating it. It didn’t harm me or injure me. I just didn’t like it and to this day, wouldn’t go out of my way to order it. But I think in those 6 years I learned the valuable lesson that I can do things that I don’t like…and that’s okay. I don’t need to love every decision, act, or thing I eat…and I can simply continue onward.

2. Material Goods Don’t Fill You.

Now, I never was one to spend a lot of money as a kid but I was always loosely aware of my family’s finances. Hand-me-down toys, wanting MacDonald’s meals so I could get a toy, and saving birthday money for years to splurge on something expensive were common patterns for me. My mother’s generosity and constant encouragement for me to spend money also built up an avoidance to take her up on that offer [Sorry mom, your plan backfired]. For whatever reason, I now pride myself in being frugal on myself.

If I can last one more month without buying X, Y, or Z.

If I already lasted so many months, do I actually even need/want X, Y, or Z?

What’s wrong with A, B, or C for me to want X,Y, or Z.

3. Death Is A Part of Life.

Simply by my family structure, I have and had a lot of older relatives. My dad is one of many children and as a result, I have a large paternal side of the family. I remember growing up always hearing about people dying. This uncle passed away. That’s why your father needs to travel back to Hong Kong. This aunt passed away. Your dad is going back to Hong Kong. Even growing up in Canada, I had my fair share of funerals to attend and although I probably wasn’t old enough to understand or appreciate the emotional importance or mourn because I didn’t particularly feel attached, the sheer number was a reminder that death loomed.

This sentiment apparently culminated when my aunt passed away. I don’t exactly remember what happened or the events leading up to the decision, but my family eventually decided to pull the plug on life-sustaining equipment. I don’t even truly remember how she died but I vaguely remember that she fell in the shower. My hospital-working mind likely suspects it was a hypotensive issue with a probable hemorrhage post-fall but either way, she was apparently unresponsive and the family eventually decided to pull the plug on her. My mom recounts that I blamed or accused the family of killing her. I absolutely cannot remember this claim, nor do I remember feeling so emotionally charged about the death. Maybe I blocked it out. Either way, I was probably 10-13 years old at the time and that was probably the 4th death.

Finally, I remember when my mother turned 60. There is superstition on my mother’s side of the family whereby none of the women in the family live past 60 years old. Now, I wouldn’t particularly call my family superstitious but they went through the whole rigmarole to explore funeral options, decide on cremation, and bring their children to their purchased columbarium plots. So trust me, considering the mortality of my family and my own mortality were definite defining moments in my life.

I think it ultimately gave me a sense of purpose and gratitude for the life I currently have and continues to be a motivating factor in my pursuit to be the best version of myself.

Final Thoughts:

The serendipity of my life experience, biochemicals, perspective on the world and family upbringing for whatever reason pointed me into this direction. I am blessed to have the outlook on life that I do and I’m definitely still working on my overall optimism and positive thinking despite my realist tendencies shooting down most ideas. I like to see myself as an outlier selective carer where most things don’t even register on my radar but the few things that matter to me, truly matter without comparison.

I couldn’t care less about what I eat because my intention behind going out to eat is primarily to socialize with the person I am eating out with. And in most cases, these types of decisions and choices are in the presence of other people [because things would go your way if you were doing them alone all the time]. If I had the opportunity to do an activity with a person that I don’t care about or do the activity alone, if I cared more about the activity, then I would simply do it alone instead.

I think my approach ultimately just puts me in a position of choice, of options. If I care, then speak up or do it alone. And if I don’t care, then shut up and let others who care make their case. Don’t give a half-assed choice purely for the sake of giving one because other people may actually care about those things - like a movie, type of food, place to go, activity to do. For me, I just want to focus on spending time with friends and it’s as basic as that.

And I think my tempered approach ultimately leads me to lead a chill life. Not too high, not too low. A rather calm existence where I can focus on and appreciate the little things in life that others may not because my intentions remain focused on the few.

Things like:

• Sitting in silence and reading beside loved ones

• Appreciating the amazing technology we have that allows me to remain in contact with friends and family across the country

• Being grateful that I am financially stable, have a roof over my head, have clothes and food to meet my basic needs and still have enough to save up for things I want

There’s so many opportunities to appreciate in my life that do not revolve around having things always go my way or having things work out as I planned. I have the opportunity to fail at something and try again. I have the opportunity to “waste time” and pursue an interest without guilt or responsibility for dependents. I was born in an era where internet exists. There are so many things to be grateful for and appreciate that I feel unfazed by the negatives but also intentionally try to not get too happy about external validations and external rewards. In the same way that my reaction to negatives amplifies negative emotions, my reaction external positives amplifies positive emotion. By mastering and tempering my response to external positivity, I personally feel that I can control and master my own internal positivity, distinctly separate and unique from one dependent on external validation.

I don’t know if this perspective helps anyone but writing it down for myself is really encouraging to know that I am clear about what matters to me. Let me know if something resonates with you or if you felt completely different. As I better learn about myself, it would be great if others had insights that I could take and grow from.

Blog Challenge - Day 0

Picking a Schedule

Schedules are important for multiple reasons. They hold one accountable for consistent generation, they force deadlines and they provide structure and expectation.

I won’t overthink it and try to generate a list of pros or cons to build some innate advantage for myself against my own pursuit for productivity and just agree to a weekly posting schedule.

I, Kristopher Wan, agree to the following:

• I will post a blogpost once a week (at least)

• I will post this blog at 1300 on Sundays. I won’t feel rushed on a weekday if I’m busy and worse comes to worse, I’ll have a weekend day to generate content if absolutely necessary.

• I will write 500 words every other day to maintain regular consistency in my writing. If I want to write more than that, then great but at least that much is important for development.

Goals for this Blog

Why would it be interesting for you as an audience to read my blog? I tend to have interesting or perhaps atypical thoughts when compard with colleagues and friends. I wouldn’t say my thoughts are radical but my thoughts certainly venture into the unique realm sometimes.

From a introspective perspective, I want to facilitate a journey of self-discovery.

From a personal perspective, I want to generate a compendium for myself of my life, what I thought at the time and monitor my own writing as well as thinking to reflect in hindsight.

From a professional perspective, I want to be able to share my thoughts and have my thoughts share a consultative, professional weight similar to a speaking gig.

From a creative perspective, I want to systematically inject extrinsic motivation into regular creative work. I feel like I oftentimes schoose the safe route, choosing safe, conservative life choices. Ultimately, they have afforded me comfort and safety but I think to encourage growth, I need to ensure I take more vulnerable stances. That builds in authenticity, stronger resonance with others who may share my perspective and builds my confidence in my perspective and opinions.

From a confidence perspective, I need to put my ideas into the world to begin to be comfortable with them existing in the world. Many times I am in shock and awe about how people have the audacity to communicate their thoughts, many times without what I would label as careful or critical thinking. My pessimistic and realist voice tells me all the reasons why something is bad, not worth sharing, stupid, or a waste of time…I need to become more confident in myself and what I think and remember it is my thoughts and my opinions. I am allowed to have them no matter what and even if they don;’t necessarily align with others, they are still valid in their existence.

Learning How to Blog

I definitely partake in the practice of ‘verbal diarrhea’ with my blogging. I have a thought — let me spill it out onto the page for others to see. It’s something I’ve been sufficiently skilled at doing. Homework assignments for 500 word opinion pieces. Easy peazy. I was good at writing a whole lot of nothing in as many words as I needed.

I don’t think I’ve ever truly wanted to write better. I never really wanted to become a writer or to be more eloquent in my writing.

But it would be an amazing process of documenting and seeing the progression of my writing style grow over the years through a blog. From blog #1 to blog #500, knowing the styles, the way to communicate ideas, learning how to write with a purpose or conviction. So here’s the beginning of my journey. Thanks to Squarespace for a ridiculous library of skills to learn, I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and try to grow as a writer, while simultaneously documenting my growth.

I’m starting to take a course called “How to Create Content Consistently | 7 Day Blogging Challenge” by Filipas Canelas so as part of that course, I’ll be documenting my development and updating this blogpost as I complete additional challenges.

Day 0 Challenge

Establishing a framework for my blog.

How Often Will I post? - Once per week.

When will the post go live? - Sunday at 1pm.

How often will I write to successfully meet this posting schedule? - I will write at least 500 words every other day. At this time, I’m not sure how long my posts will be or the exact format but 500 words every other day facilitates 4 days of writing so 2000 words

Day 1 Challenge

So my first challenge is to generate 3 blog ideas based on a single topic to exercise an abundance mindset to blogging, strengthen my targeting of specific sub-audiences. My main overarching blog idea is to document the different aspects of my life with an overall theme of self-improvement. I would describe myself as a pessimist or practical realist with stoic tendencies but I think by meticulously documenting my thoughts via writing, I may ultimately force upon myself realizations, biases in my thinking and vulnerabilities that may resonate more clearly with a written paper trail.

So I think a good starting point would be to blog about where I am in my life right now.

Who I am?

What do I think?

Why do I think I think that way?

and What do I want in my life?

The ultimate flex and ‘willing something into existence’ moment would be a reflection 5-10 years down the road and having a "A-ha moment” of how far I’ve come in my thinking, in my professional career, and in my personal life. So 3 potential blog ideas include:

• Why am I apathetic?

• 10 Chips on My Shoulders

• Why I will succeed?

Do those titles sound cringy enough but slightly weird enough for you to want to read? Then my objective is successfully accomplished.

Day 2 Challenge

Build a blog post based on another author’s blog or commentary. I anticipate some challenge with this particular task primarily because I don’t often consume other authors’ content, especially if it is written. Although I want to start a blog, I primarily consume video content - I am always on YouTube. So who can I rely on to grab content from.

Typical inspirations for me include: Gary Vee, Stoics such as Marcus Aureleus and perhaps deep work/performance optimization thought leaders such as Thomas Frank, Tim Ferriss, or Ali Abdaal.

For the sake of practicing, we’ll go with Gary Vee and Social Listening

New Beginnings (Again).

Taking a first step can seem daunting…

Write here…

The idea of starting something has become increasingly daunting and challenging as I get older. The aversion to novicehood; the calculation of benefit to invested time becomes increasingly suffocating and the importance of productivity and optimization has ultimately built in my mind this wall of inertia.

Continue to do the things you know and are accustomed to. Avoid everything different, challenging, out of the norm.

I used to blog weekly at my old website but the fear of starting up again, the countless excuses I formulated to explain my absence and the justifications for why it wasn’t as simple as just starting up again kept replaying through my mind.

I’ve been busy.

There was a global pandemic.

I work in a hospital and therefore have other things to worry about.

All valid reasons and by no means do I disregard or overlook their importance and substantiated claim to my attention and energy…but if I am being truthful to myself, they were not always my real aversion to restarting.

Lazy.

If we’re being honest, and one of my goals for starting a blog again is to ‘be authentic’, I’ve just been lazy. Because for me, lazy is comfortable. Lazy avoids pushing boundaries. Lazy lets me stay the same. [Side note - I’ve found that blogging forces me to be introspective on a regular basis and connect thoughts that otherwise remain separate and sparse. Typing it all out and reflecting on it openly ties together themes, patterns, and keeps me accountable — hence the need to be authentic to accurately allow for meaningful connection and pattern identification].

So here I am forcing myself to write. Forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other. No format. No plan. No real important or self-identified important thing that needs to be shared with the world. Just a selfish desire to start somewhere, just enough willpower to force it out before I second-guess myself, and the wisdom to ignore my inner monologue about the hundreds of reasons this pointless post doesn’t need to exist. I’m an imposter. I’m not a writer. What gives me the right or audacity to speak my mind or think my thoughts are worth sharing?

Nothing.

Nothing I say is important. I am just sharing my thoughts in my little corner of the internet. I come back to this idea way too often, but to some degree, it is also liberating to realize my opinions and ideas aren’t valuable. I think of it akin to pre-teen and teenage tiktokkers who post themselves lipsyncing, dancing, making random videos on the internet. They aren’t always funny, their acting isn’t great, they scream of desperation, seeking the approval of their peer groups and yet I find myself jealous of their free-to-be-silly childlike consistency. It’s like when you look back at old photos of yourself, your hairstyle, your fashion sense and somehow you cringe nostalgically at the bittersweet existence that is your childhood. It holds a special place in your heart that under no circumstances are you willing to share with the world openly and dread openly with moans and groans when your parents share it on full display proudly to family friends.

So Just Start.

I don’t know exactly what the theme of this website, blog or space will be. It makes me nervous to share my thoughts as a now early 30 year old man. Heck, I still feel nervous, inexperienced, fumbling my way through my own thoughts and website building. I’ve got a few things under my belt now like a job, a home, a wife, and I make reasonable life decision (I think) but I don’t want to regret not trying to carve out space on the internet for me — to tell my own narrative rather than have it be told by others or not told at all.

I can already feel the existential identity and legacy crisis swelling within me. But we’ll get into that another time.

Anywho…

Welcome to my blog. Thanks for reading. If this resonates with you, I challenge you to do something you’re uncomfortable with too. Fast forward a couple weeks/months/years and maybe this will become the best decision to (re)start again too!

I’ll definitely clean up the format, add more consistent structure to my writing and build on better blogging practices to engage the audience, pace my writing better, format my blocks of text better and so forth, but for now…

Something imperfect is better than something perfect but not published.