Transient Passions, Pleasures and Interests

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the grand scheme of things. I talk myself out of whimsy, spontaneity, serendipity and the fleeting moments of life.

Because they aren’t accounted for.

Because they haven’t been scheduled.

Because I don’t want to waste time.

Our society holds a view that certain kinds of jobs, careers and passions require such effort and continuous devotion and loom so large in the imagination that we really shouldn’t try to hold several of them or acquire mastery later in life. They are something to start early in one’s life and spend the rest of the time mastering said skill or passion.

Nowadays, anyone who changes careers later in life, picks up a hobby and shortly afterwards decides they do not like it, or are viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled.

This sets us up for collective catastrophe. It means that a large number of people who have no innate wish to pursue a certain hobby, career or apparent-passion are constantly pressured and shamed into unfulfilling duties and responsibilities.

They themselves may see a societal pressure to continue an undesired career path or passion, neglecting or ignoring their own feelings of discontent.

Others may not recognize the negative pressure they force upon the individual or the subconscious judgment, regardless of whether that pressure is ill-willed or innocently applied. And those involved in the deeply ill-suited endeavours, like co-workers, co-hobbyists, who may themselves be well-suited for their positions are subjected to an apathetic or ill-equipped individual.

Now, applying that same concept not to an individual but to specific hobbies, passions or jobs, it is imperative to understand the possibility of a limit to one’s commitment or interest as well - how long interests should go on for. One of the big assumptions of our times is that if a passion or interest is real, it must by definition prove to be eternal. We invariably and naturally equate genuine passion and interest with lifelong passion and interest.

And therefore, there’s this imaginary obstacle to committing one’s productive self towards to spontaneity and fleeting passions. Because it seems almost impossible for us to interpret the short-lived passion as ‘productive’ or ‘efficient’, to see it as something other than a problem, a failure and a waste of time. We appear fundamentally unable to trust that a hobby, interest, passion, career could be at once sincere, meaningful and important – and yet at the same time fairly and guiltlessly limited in its duration. That that is an acceptable lifespan of said interest.

There are, of course, a few very good reasons for a short-lived passion, a fleeting interest, a spontaneous act of passion.

So much can go right with short-term interest:

• When discovering a new passion or interest, every moment is treated extremely carefully as it is new. There is a tender appreciation for any gained familiarity or development of skill.

• When it isn’t forever, we can take with us only the things that we like. We don’t need to compensate, nor jadedly tolerate the pains and frustrations of competency. But when the time is short, we are unthreatened by novelties and dissonances. We are unthreatened by our inadequacies and they are invitations to expand our experiences.

• We should beware succumbing to the debilitating feeling that because it didn’t last forever, it can have been nothing at all. We know that ‘going on for ever’ isn’t the ideal in other areas of our lives. We embrace change more openly in other facets. We don’t necessarily think we have to stay in the same house all our lives, drive the same car, or use the same phone; we’re not betraying those things or destroying them when we recognize that for a range of reasons it would be wisest to change. But it is a challenge for us to recognize that sampling different passions, lifestyles, or interests has its benefits. We don’t bat an eye when trying different food cuisines before determining our favourites, reading different books before identifying our preferred genre or watching a variety of movie titles to find which ones we like best; we’re not wasting time, or thinking it was all for nothing.

We need to have an open-minded perception of interest and passion which allows the possibility of cessation or discontinuing without the assumption of having given up, being weak, or quitting prematurely. To allow for mature intentions and self-awareness as determiners for ceasing a pursuit. For only against such a backdrop can we reduce the crippling stigma of bitterness, guilt and blame. How we see the endings of hobbies, interests and passions depends to a critical extent on what our societies tell us is ‘normal’. If it was meant to last forever, every ending would by necessity have to be described as a horrifying failure. But if we allow space for short-term interest, then an ending may signal a deeper understanding of oneself, not to the external pressures of what is approved, ‘normal’ or appropriate, but to our authentic self and our transitory pleasures.

Furthermore, the idea of a short-term interest has the capacity for lifelong interest. It has the capacity to grow, to develop, to lead you down new paths with new opportunities - if you open yourself to the chance.

If you never said, “Hi” to the stranger in school, you would have never made a friend. If you never made that friend, your friend group would have been different. If you never had that friend group, your interest in sports may have never emerged. If your interest in sports never emerged, you may never have developed the hand-eye coordination. If you never developed the hand-eye coordination, you may have never realized your interest in working with tools and your hands to create. If you never realized your interest, you may never have considered studying to be a mechanic. And so forth.

The point being that what is defined as ‘productive’ or ‘not productive’ is arbitrary and deciding in advance that an interest, hobby or passion is a wasted time, irrelevant to some greater goal is preposterous!

It’s normal to not pursue something for your entire life.

It is normal to stop liking something.

It is normal to want a change, to try something different, to see what else you might like.

It is normal to balance multiple passions, hobbies and interests.

It is normal that they don’t necessarily lead to some productive fruition as a second job, a career switch or some lucrative success.

It is normal that they stay exactly what they are - a hobby, interest or passion.

And that’s okay.