A Good, Productive Listener 👂
It is hard for us to remain deeply productive and disciplined for any extended length of time.
In the short-term, breaks are required. We can’t sit in one spot for 8 hours a day, day after day after day.
In the long-term, there is a life outside of work worth living, worth enjoying, worth exploring.
Our world is too fascinating, too stimulating and too multi-versed with competing, ‘irrelevant’ shiny ideas darting across the mental horizon. It is simply too abundant.
Left to our own devices, we doubt the value of what we are trying to make sense of, of what we are trying to accomplish, and can experience overpowering urges to consume content, to take a break, to scroll on our phones - to be ultimately complacent. As a result, pivotal moments of deep focus are kept just beyond reach and pivotal trains of thought decay before interconnected fruition to our grave productive detriment.
What helps in our attempts for productive accomplishment is the awareness of another productive mind. Accomplishment can sometimes happen best in tandem. The vision of the solopreneur visionary, the isolated pioneer often reflects an incomplete picture of the success journey, cutting out the supporting cast from the individual ego’s view of success. And oftentimes, it can be the tandem success of another that spurs our own success.
The production of someone else gives us the confidence to equally achieve for ourselves. And although not necessarily directly related or in competition, the application of a light pressure from outside us (even if it is internally-conjured or perceived rather than objectively real) firms up the conviction and intentionality within. The requirement to express our intimations aloud marshals our mercurial reserves of concentration and productivity. In simpler terms, sometimes talking to someone else ‘puts our money where our mouth is’.
So find yourself a friend who shares a similar mindset towards production and efficiency. They are an invaluable asset, a fellow voyager exploring the vastness of their own capability and productivity, and very much a potential strategic piece of the puzzle to your success.
More importantly, find yourself a good listener, who is also all of the above. Since the goal is production and efficiency rather than a devolving discussion of socialized egoism where we attempt to out-perform each other, it’s important to distinguish that fact.
Discussions with a good ambitious listener often change the tone of the conversation from shallow niceties to exploratory exchanges with intention and accountability. Whether we’re contemplating more ambitious career moves, we’re having family difficulties, discussing whether a relationship is right for us, or planning any other life-changing decision, a good listener can firm your resolve, provide perspective, and discuss that perspective with you. In moments needing clarity, a good listener helps us move from a confused, agitated state of mind to a calmer and more focused one. They can ground us, keep us on topic, and organize our thoughts into a cohesive framework when sometimes we ourselves are too close to the problem and scattered in our thinking.
Often, we have a fairly reliable gut feeling. We’re in the vicinity of something. On the cusp.
But sometimes, we can’t narrow it down to what’s really bothering or exciting us. A good listener knows we benefit from encouragement to elaborate, to go into greater detail, to push a little further. We need someone who will say the magic words: “Go on…”, “Tell me more…” or “How do you feel?”.
It’s easy for a friend to say vague things. To remain shallowly engaged. It’s easy for people to agree with someone, to rehash what you’ve said, to show shallow sympathies. But is much harder to be genuinely curious, to keep our histories in mind to refer back to, and to constructively seek a deeper understanding. A skilled listener brings to listening an ambition to clear up underlying issues - to help. They hold you accountable to yourself and your words, have a productive, friendly suspicion and have your trust to reveal your weaknesses, follies and desires.
That’s why they are so rare. Good listeners are hard to come by and often times, finding ones with the productivity and efficiency bug narrows that pool further.
But once you do find them, they might be
that unlock,
that gentle push,
that word of encouragement,
you need for your not so fully flushed out aspirations.