SELF-RESTRAINT

Do you have self-restraint in your life? Do you commonly restrict something that you want and why?

It’s not uncommon to restrict yourself from certain foods.

If you are diabetic, if you are allergic, or if you are gluten intolerant, there are things that you commonly restrict yourself from because you understand they affect you negatively or that you would regret eating them later on.

But do you have self-restraint in other areas of your life? Your social life? Your social media usage? What about your finances?

SELF-RESTRAINT: AN EXPRESSION OF DISCIPLINE AND DIRECTION

Self-restraint can be an effective tool to design the life you want to live and a protective way to keep you out of your own way.

In the moment, we are all susceptible to acting rashly.

I’m thirsty! I’ll buy a drink.

I need new shoes! I’ll buy them now.

I like that outfit. I should treat myself.

There are lots of opportunities for unscheduled things to take our attention.

Many times that can be a financial splurge, but a more inconspicuous distraction can be time-based. A YouTube video here. A Reddit rabbit hole there.

Pretty soon, you can spend hours aimlessly spending your time when you in fact have things you have aspired to accomplish.

WHAT CAN SELF-RESTRAINT CAN DO FOR YOU?

Active self-restraint via physical means, software means, and habitual means can be a potent action to combat aimless and mindless distraction.

PHYSICAL MEANS

By physically placing your distractions out of reach or out of sight you can exercise self-restraint. When I think about a distracting phone, turning off your router, powering off your phone or giving your partner your phone to hold can be ways to show self-restraint.

SOFTWARE MEANS

There are many methods to restrict your access to certain applications. Whether that is parental controls or installing applications that limit or entirely restrict your use of certain apps, that can also act as a method of self-restraint.

HABITUAL MEANS

By implementing habits to remove triggers or rewire trigger-event associations, you can impose self-restraint on previously poor decisions. For example. turning off your phone during periods of deep focus can be an effective tool to break the incessant need to check your phone or react to every notification you receive.

When this trigger of checking your phone is not followed by the event, an activity that gives you a dopamine boost, sending you into the depths of your email list or to check-in to some phone game, then it can sometimes be enough to rewire that association.

HOW I THINK YOU SHOULD THINK OF IT.

Implementing self-restraint is a way to regain control. For example, many times people go on a no-spending challenge to see how many days they can go without spending a single dollar. This lets you purge your cupboards of food, use up what food ingredients you already have, and lets you start anew.

People can find this refreshing.

Some people express self-restraint in fasting. Fasting can be a religious, spiritual, and physically transformative experience to regain and reground yourself.

Applying self-restraint in your professional or personal life can likewise reframe and reground yourself.

THE NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS OR ASSOCIATIONS WITH SELF-RESTRAINT

One typical connotation with self-restraint is that you need restraint; that you aren’t in control of yourself and that you cannot simply will it.

But that’s bullshit.

Everyone has moments of weakness and moments that require you to refocus and adjust.

We all know how addicting and mindlessly accessible phone apps are designed to be.

We all know how cripplingly automatic bad habits can be.

Being able to recognize the need to re-frame and restrict yourself from triggers and opportunities to succumb to those distractions is not weakness.

THE POSITIVE ASPECTS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW OR RECALL

By applying self-restraint, you are designing a plan that is protected. You are protecting yourself from yourself and keeping yourself accountable to what you voice is your goal. Self-restraint is a way to spend your time as you have designed and planned that is resilient to outside and internal pressures.

And you are brave enough to even stand in your own way to achieve it.