Conquering the Overthinking
We’ve all overthought something, spending way too much thinking about something and flip-flopping between all the issues. Whether it’s a girl or guy we like, a project we’re completing, a presentation in front a class or for work, or a job opportunity.
We’ve all been there.
The thoughts seem endless.
I didn’t prepare enough for this!
I’ll be exposed as a fraud. Someone will know I’m not qualified.
What if I got the message wrong? What if they don’t reciprocate my feelings.
And what happens? Even if we try to rationalize with ourselves, it can sometimes cause us to spiral even worse, shut down, or act rashly.
Nick Trenton proposes a different way.
He says that you cannot necessarily think your way out of overthinking.
But there are habits, protocols and practices that might be able to jolt you out of your overthinking and anxiety spiral.
1. 5-4-3-2-1
Slowly count down from 5 to 1.
Use each number to engage one of your senses.
5 - Look at 5 different objectives in your environment
4 - Hear 4 distinct sounds in your environment
3 - Feel 3 sensations in your environment
2 - Detect two smells in your environment
1 - Identify one taste in your environment
The reason that this practice works, it is leverages the fact that human consciousness cannot do more than 1 thing at a time. Our active attention is our spotlight and by shifting our thoughts from our mind to our physical surroundings, you break the anxious, cyclic self-talk.
This brief reprieve from our thoughts in our minds to our surroundings can successfully disrupt the anxious overthinking, which can be that split second moment to regain control over our anxiety and our minds.
2. Counter-Belief Experiment
When we have a certain belief, it can be difficult to examine the situation with fresh eyes or new perspective. The Counter-Belief Experiment intentionally taps into that difference in perspective to try to disrupt a spiralling mind. When we have anxious thoughts about how a situation is bad, it indicates we at some level believe there to be truth in that anxiousness. For example, if I am anxious about the downturn of the stock market, part of me believes it will continue to drop to zero. If I felt no anxiousness towards that downturn , it’s because I believe it will eventually reverse and begin to climb again.
But in those bleaker moments, we can’t seem to see that perspective.
What we need to do is consciously break down these anxiety inducing beliefs.
Step 1 - We must ask ourselves, “What must I believe about myself, others, or the future to justify my anxiety?”
Step 2 - Reverse this belief to establish a counter-belief.
Step 3 - Live the next 60 seconds as if the counter belief is true.
At this point, observe how that affects the anxiety and the thoughts in our minds.
Step 4 - Look for evidence to support this new belief.
With data supporting this counter-belief, the grip that our original belief holds will loosen. This can lower our anxiety and calm our thinking.
Let’s apply it to the stock-market example. The belief that must exist to cause my anxiety is the worry that the stock market will never bounce back. That it will stay in free fall and I’ll lose all my money. The counter-belief would be that the stock market will bounce back, it will return to pre-fall market value. By believing this as true, I can evaluate the reassurance and comfort knowing that my money is not forever lost. Finally, I can look for evidence to support the belief that it will bounce back. Forms of evidence can be historical data post-market crashes and the relative time duration required to return to pre-market crash value.
Certainly, this can feel like cherry-picking data to convince ourselves, but that’s the point. We’re supposed to find data that questions the truth-like grip that those original beliefs may have over us that caused us to spiral in the first place; because we’ve gotten stuck in a negative, spiralling loop.
3. Worry Postponement
When you are stressed and worried, it can be hard to focus. The intrusive thoughts can hijack your thinking and often make it hard to focus throughout the day. Procrastinate on your worrying. Set up a worry appointment reminder in your calendar for some time in the future. Defer it.
By doing this, you acknowledge your need to worry but confine it to a set block of time. You don’t need to worry about it constantly and throughout the entire day because you already have a set time.
It can seem silly but it is an effective way to accomplish 2 things.
It empowers you to control your anxiety because you are acknowledging your need to worry. Your brain is worrying because the situation is worrisome. But that’s it. Thanks brain, I acknowledge the worry, but I’ve got a a time for it.
It is a very direct way to interrupt anxiety spirals. You aren’t engaging in cycles of spiralling thoughts. You aren’t deferring the worry indefinitely so it just is a constant looming thought in your mind. You’ve just made it an appointment and allotted a time for it.
We can seldom eliminate worry from our lives, but we can consciously limit its time of onset and duration
By implementing these three practices (the 5-4-3-2-1 method, the Counter-Belief Experiment, and Worry Postponement), you can start to take control of your overthinking and anxiety. These practices won't necessarily make your worries disappear, but they will help you manage them in a more productive and healthy way.
Overthinking can be a difficult habit to break, but with practice, you can train your mind to shift its focus away from negative thoughts and towards more positive and productive ones.