Being Okay With Failure Leads to Growth
Every couple of months, I get back on my soapbox and continue to talk about failure.
There’s a lot of different feelings and thoughts about failure but there are some general themes about failure and honestly, I think they’re mostly good. As long as you have the tenacity and insight to reflect on your failure.
You don't matter that much.
Some people find solace in the fact that they matter very little. That the world will continue to exist and continue to spin no matter whether you succeed or fail at what you attempt to achieve.
It means that your feelings of insecurity and fear of failure largely go unnoticed to the rest of the world. Everyone else is also fearful of their own failures and don’t have time to concern themselves with yours.
This liberating feeling can and does mean that you are free to fail as much as you want and that people won’t notice.
Although it may feel catastrophic in your subjective perspective and in your life, it doesn’t mean much to the world as a whole.
“You miss a 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky,
Some people see the risk of failure as less paralyzing that not even attempting. Some people recognize that failure is a part of success and you only achieve success if you’re willing to fail.
This can be liberating to know because for many, it’s that first step that is the most challenging. But if you don’t take that first step, then there are no subsequent steps.
If you cannot take that first step, then how can you expect to make something from nothing?
Whether that’s a creative endeavour such as photography, pottery, woodworking, drawing, dance or anything else.
As someone who doesn’t really self-identify as creative or a business person, the idea of putting myself out into the world publicly while doing something that I wasn’t exactly trained in or that there wasn’t a clear cut path to follow has certainly been a daunting experience.
Whether it’s even blogging my opinions and thoughts onto a personal website, or trying my hand at a new hobby or craft, having to exist and take up space and do so publicly has been a challenge.
For example, posting photos, feeling comfortable walking around in public with a camera, having someone ask me about my camera or my photography has been weird.
I always kind of have to remind myself that I enjoy the hobby or interest and that I would want to do it if no one was around and that I’m doing it for myself and not for others. So my failures are solely for me and if I want to get better, I have to go through this period of failure and mediocrity.
But what does it mean to fail?
When we think of it from purely a definition standpoint
fail·ure - /ˈfālyər/, nounnoun: failurelack of success."an economic policy that is doomed to failure"the omission of expected or required action.negligence"their failure to comply with the basic rules"the action or state of not functioning."symptoms of heart failure"
From a definition-standpoint, failure is very black and white. Success or failure. Two sides of a coin. But when we talk about failure as it pertains to skill develop and progression, it can’t be so clearly boiled down into a binary choice.
If I fail to score a basket in basketball, do I fail at basketball?
What would failure look like in a game?
There are so many complex moving parts, that the concept of failing in basketball is never considered. Whether it’s dribbling, passing, shooting, defence, set play implementation, athleticism, etc, these things can’t be so simply boiled down into success and failure.
We don’t even think about these terms of success and failure because we understand the complexity of these integrated and coordinated movements. We only boil it down to WIN and LOSE because it’s a competition that pits two entities against each other.
It’s so easy to see this objectively when we think about others as a third party. If Team A beats Team B we don’t say Team B are all failures. We may criticize specific plays, specific skillsets, specific matchups but we don’t widespread label the entirety of Team B as a failure.
And yet we someone do so in a first person perspective about ourselves.
We become so fearful of failing at something, whether they be trying something new, performing on a stage, trying a new hobby, or putting ourselves out there to do something different. Sometimes we arbitrarily avoid these situations because we don’t want to even give ourselves the chance to fail.
That mindset also negates all the growth and development that accompanies failure.
If I make errors along the way but practice a skill, or improve a skill proficiency, those are aspects of a failure that are not accounted for in SUCCESS and FAILURE.
The label FAILURE in itself fails to encapsulate the entirety of one’ performance.
By recognizing the shortcomings of the term FAILURE, it may liberate us from that fear because it forces us to acknowledge the limitations of the term to fully encapsulate the action.
Artistic and creative expression, the pursuit of a hobby or interest that you are new to - the technical knowledge, the
That act of attempting to apply the failure label may in fact then liberate us from that fear because it forces us to acknowledge the impossibility of applying the term failure at all.
And if we cannot fail entirely, then what can hold us back? If we cannot fail entirely, then we are only progressing and growing.
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” ― Thomas A. Edison
In the case of things that can be failed, I implore you to be okay with failure.
Why? Well, you simply cannot get better if you are not willing to fail.
How does one get better at a skill without practice?
How does one get better at a skill without learning from mistakes? And how does one even identify things as mistakes without the recognition and growth to understand there is a better way?
I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan
We can only grow if we continue to try and if we continue to try we will inevitably grow. It is only when we stop trying or we do not even attempt to start that we will not grow.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ―Winston S. Churchill